Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML
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Top comments
HortonThelephant 15
Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..
idealTHC 7
Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.
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Comments (156)
Giluh 19
Two words. Tighty Whities.
maddygirl820 10
How old is your sister?
delete_me 4
Actually, in all seriousness we kind of do. That's the whole purpose of men wearing compression pants
tinyj96 3
Thats a good idea. Its never fun when your nads are brutally attacking your thighs.
TwoOneFive 11
Only if it's 12 inches and more
BntyHntrSeattle 30
This is the most penis talk I've ever heard in one place, and I'm in high school :P
Epikouros 32
Yeah, we ran naked, but usually we tied our floppy bits down with a thin leather strap around the foreskin.
wdd2 5
Stop lying to your sister, we all do it, I personally use hot glue for that purpose alone, otherwise i get creepers staring at me.
ohSNAPyall 27
Why do you care if your sister believes you on this penis issue?
frontmanmike 14
Different solutions for different events: for instance, we sometimes wear our dongs as neckties to formal events, but only when the risk of an erection is minimal, as we could strangle ourselves with our own throbbing meat.