Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML
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Top comments
HortonThelephant 15
Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..
idealTHC 7
Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.
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Comments (156)
Capt_Oblivious 10
You mean you don't have to duct tape it down?!?! My buddies always told me you had to and I just believed them. Those crazy guys.
BeanBrick 10
That would explain your username.
etchsanity1 11
I use compression shorts when running way better than the freeballing for distance
annie_nk 23
Nice face tat. Reminds me of Zell from FF8
robberry 11
Compression shorts, or running shorts with a liner, take care of this problem.
vbmg152 19
Wow!!
Iceman225 11
Im not even sure what thats supposed to mean...
beastiness 14
Well we kinda do, I'm a runner and I always wear compression shorts when I run any distance cause I can't stand it bouncing around
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well, the last time I ran was probably in middle school, but I still remember how annoying it was to have it flopping around in tight-ish gym shorts the whole time, and to add insult to annoyance I was a hormonal young boy in a PE class full of girls and all that stimulation from the flopping didn't help... If I could have tied it down it would have been a huge help. No pun intended.
ktwynn 6
Does taking the tape off not seem like it would be just about the most painful thing ever to anyone else, or is that just me?
biglittlehead 12
The putting it on would be fine. It's that taking it off part that would suck. *shudders*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I have to wear 3 bras and hold my breasts down when I jog. Just kidding, I don't jog.
biglittlehead 12
At least you don't have to tuck your nuts into your socks to avoid tripping.
smallshaft 10
Obviously by my username I wouldn't know. I'm hung like a light switch so I can't really say