Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML
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Top comments
HortonThelephant 15
Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..
idealTHC 7
Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.
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Comments (156)
bestnameright 14
Actually I believe it's peni (peen-eye) not penises.
RussianFox 13
I really hope you aren't serious.
bestnameright 14
I'm not dw :)
Onmyzephyr 5
Fail.
KiddNYC1O 22
Chances are you were serious.
Wishez 12
Men are plural. Therefore penises is required as a plural noun.
KVKdragon 26
I know guys wear jockstraps for sports and other physical activity but it isn't absolutely necessary -.-
Brssps 13
Well if we didn't use jockstraps during.sports, we would all get hit in the nuts
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
So...does she still believe it?
perdix 31
I don't. I let my mighty club swing wild and free to knock down cyclists and aggressive dogs who get too close.
Welshite 40
I'm going to guess "too close" is an inch. You must be one of those people who has no personal space, right?
perdix 31
Length isn't everything. Toughness and whippiness are traits that are desired by the ladies. That is, the posters on the forums at TeenyPeeny.com who represent themselves as ladies.
sarah6786 14
I have an uncontrollable urge to go to that website now....
mikeymayhem_87 15
If anything, some guys have to tuck the balls away to keep them from swinging all over
chocolateisyum 12
Wow, before this FML, I hadn't even thought about this concept. Do any guys do this?
mikeymayhem_87 15
Yes, most of us do.
4Sharks 4
No, most of us don't.
mikeymayhem_87 15
It sounds like somebody didn't get the hint of sarcasm
cameron194 9
Lol, well when I'm runnin down the stairs to the laundry room to get clean clothes to wear, it start to develop a pretty good "too-and-fro" lol.. But as for taping it down, no ma'am.. I let my shit hang wild and proud!! :p
4Sharks 4
It was understood
kkillaj 5
Yep all the time
WhatYouMean 4
Actually, in my case, every time I go running, I do NEED to strap it down. Haha xD
vintageemerald 10
Oh, aren't you being cocky? xD
BellaBelle_fml 23
So 'WhatYouMean' is that you have a below average sized penis?
TipOfTheHat 10
Mine penis is detachable, I can take it off for jogging, hiking, kayaking. I misplace it from time to time, however; it always seems to pop up when needed!
Sunkistlover718 21
"Pop up when needed!" I see what you did there.
ohSNAPyall 27
Detachable penis... detachable penis...
TipOfTheHat 10
Mine penis is detachable, I can take it off for jogging, hiking, kayaking. I misplace it from time to time, however; it always seems to pop up when needed!
Negroification 7
But men DO have to do that, the same way women need to wear sports bras.
monstersocks 5
people don't need to but it is best to do so.