By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 23:02 - Ireland - Waterford

Spicy
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 604
You deserved it 4 006

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Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..

Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.

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If men always fap, who knows if they flap.

#14, the Latin plural of penis would be penes. In English, it's penises. If you have to strap down multiple penises, you'd be a medical oddity.

I don't, sometimes I need direction, it's my North pointer.

I have to tape mine down my pant leg

#54 does it hurt when u pull of the tape O_o

I've found that super glue tends to keep it from flopping about a little better than tape does.

I just tie mine around my waist

That's not what jock straps are for?.... I've been severely misinformed.....

I tried wrapping my comment with sacrasm tags XML style, but FML deleted the tags out...? I guess they don't like code in the comments. But I digress, to those who are clueless: my previous post was a joke.

I use mine as a scarf on those cold winter mornings

I use painters tape to hold mine down. Double wrap and it holds strong and it doesn't pull the skin when you peel of the tape.

I tie mine down so it doesn't hit me in the face when I'm doing jumping jacks.

Well, I doubt Asian men have to...

If you have to do the same thing with boobs, obviously penises work the same way

A sports bra for penises...how interesting.

A... bro, perhaps?

18- It's called a jock strap.

or a spandex.... haha it's so ingenious that we forget to acknowledge it.

Yeah, we strap down our penis' with things called shorts.. If we run around naked though, things tend to flop around.

Or dare we say.... manzeer?

Hey, it's only fair if us women have to wear bras while jogging. ;)

I don't know who made that rule, but I'd be fine if girls didn't wear bras while jogging.

The reason girls wear sports bras to jog is because it hurts for our boobs to bounce that much! Talk about OUCH! Not to mention how distracting it is. And also how many creeps a girl would attract from not wearing a sports bra.

We dont want any girl to get a black eye from a bouncing boob.

Perhaps the real need for strappin' down arises because of all those jogging ladies.

I would only get a block before either stopping due to the pain or TKO. And I don't understand how guys (or girls) would find our bouncing floppy fat sacks that just happen to be placed on our chest to be attractive...just saying.

I would only get a block before either stopping due to the pain or TKO. And I don't understand how guys (or girls) would find our bouncing floppy fat sacks that just happen to be placed on our chest to be attractive...just saying.

Boobs don't need logic.

Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..

Says the guy named HortonThelephant

I believe that was the whole point.

That's really what you think?

5's comment and avatar go so well together.

How did Captain Obvious up there receive 80 thumbs?

I think my name might say it all.

some times that is exactly what is required.

Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.

Well then.. I like a man with red marks all over his chest.

You jog with an erection?

I giggled like a school girl at the image this put in my head.

HA. This is great

#95, You'd love me then! I have terrible acne. I don't need to say I'm joking do I?

You guys should watch Juno together.

"Pork swords" quote gets me every time...

"Junk bouncing around in their shorts" lol

"I ALWAYS picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All I see is pork swords."

That's dumb. They should save tape and just use staples instead.

That mental image is horrific.

Upon reading that my penis has retreated and refuses to return.

No penis, no opinion.

I dont even have a penis and yet that hurt

Please comment this after YOUR balls have been stapled.. Sincerely balls everywhere...

Owww, I'm a girl and that even hurts me to think about

Rarely has any comment made me laugh and cringe simultaneously. Thanks! :D

I like to helicopter when jogging.

Well I would guess from your name.

To impress a chick, do the helicopter dick

I have personally witnessed this firsthand and I honestly couldn't decide how I felt about it...

Meat helicopters!

I usually just tuck It into my sock, so I don't get gravel rash.

You're that short, hmm?

Hey! Its vertically challenged thank you.

Hey, we have something in common! Only I'm not vertically challenged. I'm packing heat.

I use mine as a third leg to help me go faster.

I bet you guys are all actually centimeter peters.

Ah, Lilliputian troubles ... this is how they cope.

40- Do you mean packing meat? Personally i like to tuck my lovegun into my belt. Any intruders or robbers cum nearby, and I'll just pull a quickdraw and shoot 'em in the head.

Sorry to hear about the QuickDraw ... Maybe practice will help your stamina

Yeah, Palmela Handerson has been begging me for a break. However, I am quick to draw, but not quick to release.

I see what you did there