Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
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Top comments
pwincessa23 1
awww. poor u. well think about it this way: @ least u have a job!
JustKeepBreathin 0
That's kind of...weird. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU EMPLOYED?!?
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Comments (95)
Hundii 0
I don't get it
Thiri 0
how do you make a turtle poo?
Flamehog9 0
Very carefully.
RedPillSucks 31
Same way you make Winnie Poo?
randomtwig 0
obviously you're stupid not realising this before
Illyssa_fml 4
#37 haha that was really weirdly written..but school isn't a market, and not everyone has to pay for student loans..some people get scholarships or Financial aid or grants..it's not that hard to get those. and colleges give you more than enough time to figure out your major. And Op as long as you're getting paid right?
hcovballer247 0
Stinks...literally
RedPillSucks 31
Am I the only one who remembers when "dropping your load" meant ejaculating? I thought OP was some weird turtle pimp. Instead OP's into turtle hentai.
cyc10n3 0
Wtf? Lol
imhowie 2
It took you that long to figure out?
xxsilverfitexx 0
destonerock- you really must have no life then to sit here and try and ridicule people. clearly you didn't go to school because you have so much free time to rant about how college is not the way to a good life. hey guess what I went to school and I'm 19 years old and I'm probably making more money than you are. maybe I didn't go to a big time college but I did get an education and because of that I can get plenty of jobs. college is not only to help get you a job it's also in introduction to living on your own. it's a way to socialize so while your sitting at home playing with yourself the rest of us are living it up, and making friends. btw you can be pretty and be smart. so before you have a hissy fit because some one made a comment and your mad because you could never get a girl like that, think maybe if I went to college I could meet someone! so **** off loser
sweetsimple101 0
Wtf does that have to do with trying to make a tortoise s***???? lmao
katiebells 0
crappy job, huh? (: