Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pwincessa23 1
awww. poor u. well think about it this way: @ least u have a job!
JustKeepBreathin 0
That's kind of...weird. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU EMPLOYED?!?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
lolbbqomgcat 0
Dude! I would love to have your job, sounds like fun. Hey man! Where do you work? ME: Some place where I make animals shit themselves. Yeah! Awesome. :)
notsoluckypup 12
ummm ... watever floats ur boat u kno?
sweetsimple101 0
I broke into laughter on the first sentence I love tortoises :D
skyeyez9 24
Did you give the turtle an enema? Feed it mexican food? How do you make one poop?
emmanizzer 6
whatever pays the bills i guess...
PardonMyFrench 4
Sounds like a crappy job!
athenianwrestler 4
better than making them blow their load right?
thefmlman2011 36
what a Shit job
rainbowkissies 14
that does suck, but it must pay the bills! i hope you get more than minimum wage... i'd make turtles poop for 10 bucks an hour!
wingedelephants 17
America thanks you for your much-needed service.