Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
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Top comments
ipodtoucher123 0
u have balls on ur butt?
emilyjune519 0
Hilarious. But ow.
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Comments (145)
timsuha 0
those must be some big balls to get in the way, so its not all bad.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
thats what i was thinking too. and OP: beautifully worded, i feel your pain and im a girl haha
iankennedy17 0
how is that even possible?!?!?
pachy78 0
I still don't get the picture very well yet....
Firesprite2009 0
Horrible, HORRIBLE images. I think I'm going to go gouge my eyes out with a rusted fork dipped in lemon juice now.
insidejokeswithm 0
That comment alone would deserve an FML if it happened.. :)
Spac3Ghost 0
why are your testicles that far back by your ass!? FYL for having soggy, stretched out balls =)
Richmond24 6
its not a pretty one ill tell you that...
pachy78 0
Ouch!
ScreamoxD 0
Probably he flipped?
GiRIsMakingCupca 0
oooooooouuuuucccccchhhhhh!!!!!!!:) that's going to hurt in the morning lol but seriously..... that will:(
babygraprefruit 0
Oh thank goodness! Your lucky you have testicles to break your fall, all I have is my ass.
TheLetterZero 7
The term is "happy sack", OP. I think...
Richmond24 6
id rather break my ass then pop a ball, think of getting sacked as getting punched directly in the ovaries.. ive heard that that hurt to but not as bad i'd bet
whatshernuts 0
You'd actually be surprised. I got "hit in the ovaries" during some rough nookie once and I was in pain for the next three days. I just realized my username is pretty appropriate for this conversation topic.
Insert_Wit_Here 0
Brilliantly (yet painfully) worded. A true FML... Totally sucks for the OP, but good for a laugh.
idkweird 0
Ouch, lol. That sounds awful! FYL!