Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
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Top comments
ipodtoucher123 0
u have balls on ur butt?
emilyjune519 0
Hilarious. But ow.
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Comments (145)
olbb831 0
just did something less painful a few days ago. at school we were standing up and sitting down really fast for an assembly and I sat on my testes.... twice :'(
blondeandhot 0
I bet you made this up because I know you don't have any balls!!
grrrrmetigers 0
if i had a dick, i think i would partially die a little bit. owwches for you dude
darcieslegit12 0
let's hope you can still have babies
gleek2013 0
Ok sometimes they hang by your ass if you're a guy and you haven't sat on you balls once then you don't have them or you balls haven't ******* dropped yet
dabmaster 0
How does that work
tingway 4
i would have asked you to ice them.. but i don't think there's a need for it anymore.
tidbits5197 28
Luckily, your fall didn't break your balls
Cl4Ptp2579 6
No babies for you, my friend
herpderp1234 17
Did your "balls" "bounce" you off the floor? :D