Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
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Top comments
ipodtoucher123 0
u have balls on ur butt?
emilyjune519 0
Hilarious. But ow.
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Comments (145)
DeathStar_fml 0
are your balls on your ass?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
ass-balls... ass-balls... Doesn't really have any catch or zing to it.
redbluegreen 41
How about "balls-ass" then?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Good to see you on, Blue. Not really sure about that one, to be honest. I need a second opinion...
CyberFibre 0
I feel your pain... :(
whyevenbother 0
Damn man, my condolences
Mayber 0
Haha the comments on this made me laugh more than the actual post. But man FYL.
_Noon_ 0
So you have testikels on your butt?
macfarley 0
You deserve it for having goat nuts. lol that sucks tho i'd suggest an ice pack and no movement. at all
Luna0709 0
confused...
Lesbier 0
I agree with kisseshugsdrugs It's beautifully worded so that I feel the pain too even though I am a chick. I feel bad for you dude.
bostonfan 0
I'm not quite sure how your dick got caught between your ass and the ground while you were walking.................... thats some crazy stuff not sure I believe that
TheHeroOfTime 0
^^ Eight year old. ^^