Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my brother has been stealing money from me for the past five months. FML
Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML
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Top comments
pratikp03 22
rob him back
WCARlover 35
Well how is he getting in? Always keep your door and windows locked...that's awful you can't trust your own brother :(
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Comments (74)
deviousangel89 13
Tell him to return everything that he had stolen or else you'll report him to the authorities. Family or not, your brother is a thief and must be taught a lesson.
Witchylady 18
Change the locks.
FragrantSalmon 12
Call me and I'll bring swift justice on his sorry ass.
earthlyscum 19
**** it, he's family
iseebearbears 27
OP- ROB. Do you even know what the word means?
luceeloo 10
I'm glad someone pointed this out!
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
How come you didn't notice before ?
dudechef 8
Get a paintball gun and lie in wait - shoot his ass up, he may reconsider his actions
esca6angel 16
time to change the locks
zoelog 10
he's been doing it for weeks and you haven't noticed? lock your door. ydi