It's not a phase, mom

By What’s wrong with me? - 09/12/2021 22:58

Today, I have crippling self-hatred and suicidal thoughts for no reason. Nothing bad has happened to me in years, and I shouldn’t feel like this. I have no right to feel like this. I’m just a selfish, spoiled bitch with a good life who over exaggerates. FML
I agree, your life sucks 940
You deserved it 296

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Don’t beat yourself up about this. It doesn’t matter how good life is, mental health doesn’t discriminate. Maybe therapy and talking with a psychiatrist will help?

Mental health issues often spring from physical, not psychological causes. Your brain chemistry gets out of whack for whatever person, and suddenly you're thinking and behaving very differently. Depression is one way this can manifest; mania is too, and mania can be devastating in its own right. Adult Attention Deficit Disorder is yet another chemically/physically driven state, and while it's popular to believe it's over-diagnosed and over-prescribed, it's very real for a lot of people. Anyway, the point is, it's a medical condition. If you cut your hand open, and the wound wasn't closing correctly, and it was getting puffy and red, you'd go to a doctor, and (presumably) not feel any shame about it. The way your brain is functioning is the same thing; the only difference is, you can't see it with your bare eyes (you often CAN see changes in the brain using imaging technology like MRIs). It's a medical problem; if it's persists, see a doctor about it-- and don't feel badly about it if you do!

Comments

Don’t beat yourself up about this. It doesn’t matter how good life is, mental health doesn’t discriminate. Maybe therapy and talking with a psychiatrist will help?

Exactly all of this. Please call someone and don’t feel bad about it. Genuinely sorry you’re going through it. Good luck ❤️

It's not your fault. Many industries rely on irrational self-loathing. They're selling Botox to twenty-somethings! Feel better and blame society for making you dissatisfied with what is perfectly fine.

Mental health issues often spring from physical, not psychological causes. Your brain chemistry gets out of whack for whatever person, and suddenly you're thinking and behaving very differently. Depression is one way this can manifest; mania is too, and mania can be devastating in its own right. Adult Attention Deficit Disorder is yet another chemically/physically driven state, and while it's popular to believe it's over-diagnosed and over-prescribed, it's very real for a lot of people. Anyway, the point is, it's a medical condition. If you cut your hand open, and the wound wasn't closing correctly, and it was getting puffy and red, you'd go to a doctor, and (presumably) not feel any shame about it. The way your brain is functioning is the same thing; the only difference is, you can't see it with your bare eyes (you often CAN see changes in the brain using imaging technology like MRIs). It's a medical problem; if it's persists, see a doctor about it-- and don't feel badly about it if you do!

Maybe because we are told to source all our problems from the outside in, instead of living from the inside out. Seriously, the opposite of more is enough. Most people don't appreciate what is going on or what they have until they lose it all and come to the terms that it was just stuff that they used to fill the void they ignored over years. It's not the hard times who define who you are, it is how you respond to the hard times and how you pick yourself up to carry on through it.

I have been through periods in my life when I had serious depression. I learned a few things: (1) Serious depression like you are describing requires professional help. While you may find things on your on that help, and sometimes family and friends can help - Ultimately depression is a mental health issue that is not your fault and needs professional help. (2) I have found in my case that sometimes the trigger for depression is due to your situation - sometimes family issues, sometimes physical health issues, sometimes job or financial issues. And sometimes the trigger appears to be purely a brain chemistry issue. Sometimes we can see for ourselves what the trigger is and sometimes we need professional help to understand the situation. (3) When we suffer a full blown depression episode, we lose our perspective. Our current troubles become all we can see and feel. We may feel like it will never get better, even if we have been thought this before and survived it before. (4) Do not make any decisions you cannot undo when you are depressed. Suicide cannot be undone and threatening that may have consequences that go beyond what you might anticipate. Quitting a job or breaking up with a family member often cannot be undone if you feel different another day. There are times when major job or relationship changes are part of a long term solution but make decisions like that when you are in a frame of mind that lets you think things through more clearly. (5) I recommend journaling your thoughts, but not sharing them with anyone but your therapist. I have always found that journaling my thoughts made me think things through so I could put them into some sort of way that made sense. And doing so is a way of getting some relief by being able to share them with yourself when you go back and read what you wrote. But DO NOT SHARE THEM WITH FRIENDS OR FAMILY. You might find it easier to use an app or something that lets you keep them secure from curious family members or others. Please look for help. The holidays are particularly difficult times for people suffering from depression.

that's uncanny! I have was just signing on to make the EXACT same post

Bad news: You have depression. Good news: If there's no trauma, you can probably just go show your doctor this FML, take some pills, and be just fine in a few weeks. It's probably all physical--you just need some special chemicals to up your seratonin. Go talk to your doctor and you'll be fit as a fiddle in no time. (It happened to me, albeit with schizophrenia. Trust me, the doctor can help.)

What the others have said. But also: It might not be just chemistry. You might have a very valid reason for feeling the way you do, and just not understand that it's valid, or not know that it's a problem because it's the only thing you've known. If you grew up with parents or others berating you, that can stay with you and affect your mood and self-image even when they're long distant. Therapy is certainly needed. There are good and bad therapists, so you might not get one who is right for you on the first try. But give them a chance.

find your purpose. we all here for a reason. until then stay positive and move forward

Anderling 19

Depression doesn’t care how good your life is. There’s no dude checking the line going “You Must Be This Suffering To Ride”. Please get help, if you can.