Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my brother has been stealing money from me for the past five months. FML
Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pratikp03 22
rob him back
WCARlover 35
Well how is he getting in? Always keep your door and windows locked...that's awful you can't trust your own brother :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
llamaaduckk 19
If I were you I would rig all my food. Add salt to the milk, sugar to the spaghetti, replace mayo with toothpaste. Of course that would be ruining your food so just call the cops! Or tell mom on him..
Sathane 21
YDI. You allow him to steal from you then whine about it. Family or not, he steals from you, he gets arrested.
Hunkapoo 19
next time say your being robbed! technically you won't be lying.
VgForce_fml 3
Sharing is caring. He is just helping you to be a good sister :)
Iwannarock1 19
Change your locks.
chosha_fml 27
He's been doing it for weeks? Had you not noticed your food going missing? If he has a key I'd change the locks, at his expense.
ohSNAPyall 27
Get your spare key back. Can he afford his own food?
Brookiepooooh 10
Eye for an eye
ToxicTyrael 26
...makes the whole world blind. Not the best advice..
esamolwan 18
threaten him to get him reported
lolfml248 8
You might have to even take your younger brother to small claims. Sorry OP.