By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 605
You deserved it 17 969

Same thing different taste

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 677
You deserved it 35 738

Top comments

rockerbaby3192 0

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-


rockerbaby3192 0

He obviously needed some papers stapled together. his colon.

Must be in of those wierd people who eat metal to get stupid achievements in record books..... .....or hopefully Darwin Awards.....

When your high on shrooms, staples are really appealing.

They're so delicious, but they come out kicking.

strizz18 0
lonewolf6613 4

44 they don't come out kicking. they come out poking

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-

imacreeper 3

I'm guessing you reaally like heavy metal, huh OP?

lonewolf6613 4

59 me too. I clicked the second one and then pressed the button to go to the previous fml. it's really annoying though

comepoopwithme 0

You must spend a lot of time inspecting your dukey.

LaDeeDaDeeDaLaLi 0
VEVO_fml 0

Thumbs Up if it took you a long time to click on this FML like the juggalo one...

I just thought of a great, original pun!...Well that's a shitty situation! Original right? It's not like it's overused and not funny anymore!

adropofpeace 8

"that was easy"? No wait wrong kind of Staples... you'd should try bringing lunch to work and not eating your office supplies...

he obviously wanted all his shit to come out nice and packed and stapled together, but didn't realize that a staple is no good without a stapler. next time remember to eat the stapler for desert op :)

me too! blahh i kept trying and finally got it. badass

mismonroe 0

Don't act like it's the first time your ass has been torn up.

iknowimawesome 13

yeah that's what I did. it is really really annoying.

immja 0

@6 strong with you the force is

He needed his rectum scratched..a staple did the job

That FML is so short that I wasnt able to click on it on the iphone app!

I did too I had to go to the second one and go up 1!

modelmefamous 0

171- I think we all established people had trouble clicking it.

athena3100 9

same! i couldnt get it opem!

Firecrotch07 0

Does everyone have an IPhone?

mismonroe 0

I'm on my iPad and it does the same. So not all iPhones, just way too ******* short.

jess_h14 2

I'm on my iPod and had no trouble..

It was a cheaper way of stapling his stomach.

Leave him alone, he was just trying to keep his shit together.

me too 59. it kept going to where I would submit one or where you vote for the I agree your life sucks and ydi...

froggies8828 0

I'm on my iPod same issue guava this is dumb

glad to see we are on the same page.

practicesafesax 0

Well, idk it sounds pretty appealing to me.

spider63 0

he ate it because he felt they weren't enough sharp objects in his colon

fuff_fml 4

same with me number 59! lol

ummm...... he ate it cause its a great source of iron! XD

zombi3ki113r14 4

u wouldnt have to inspect it. im pretty sure your going to feel a staple come out i you shut it out...

So nobody on this thread appreciates the potency of 5-word FMLs, they just whine about their thumbs' inabilities to hit a small target? I personally enjoy concisely effed lives x)

aubrey1 0
Huge_p3n0r 0

ejaculation is key to success.

rofflewaffle 9

Haha, all the people who had trouble opening this one on their iPhones have fat fingers. :)

Maybe you might consider losing some weight then? At least until you get rid of the huge banana fingers you currently have.

meggieh815 0
blinkingstarlet 15

bahahaha i cracked up reading this. good call! lol

Riturz 4

In my mind, I imagined that the staple shot out like a bullet or something...what's wrong with me..

tearsXwillXfall 2

Why did I get thumbed up so many times just for asking a question?

mrwelsh3 0
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
aubrey1 0

I second that motion. And OP, try not to eat staples. there's a better way to get iron in your diet.

21- aaawwww heellll noooo dont take my name!!!

CaptinObvious467_fml 2

Sorry homedog I wasn't sure if the name was taken. Ill just change it to chode smoker

schaflava 0

I enjoy eating staples, too......... wtf OP?

enonymous 8

I believe you have my stapler... red swingline... ok I guess I'll burn down the office....

how did u post this?(not pointing at reply)I meant this FML IT IS LESS THAN 30CHARCTERS RYT?

thisisFMLsoFYL 11

Judging by the huge negative number on ur comment, I'd say u suck pretty bad at life too

CaptinObvious467_fml 2
mattmadden 0

this you Why are like talking

AmberGale13 0

is that suppose to be dyslexia?

mismonroe 0

You **** have I SyDlexia Funny it's and nto DMANM!!!

142... You just proved my point in 134, as did everyone else who thumbed me down. If you read it carefully, you'll see why.

mismonroe 0

I seeeee. That looks too much like a typo, mr. switching ships! ;)

269 yeah you mispelled dyslexia as a joke but it was too close to the actual spelling to notice it.

It was a test. It was only a test. Had it been a real emergency, I would not have been playing with people's minds. For the Freudians out there, the spelling "Dyl-SEX-ia" would have signaled an even DEEPER issue...

fyl11122233 0
OceanBreathesSal 5
johnson94 5

Shat = fart + shit there is a simple math equation that will explain it for you...

sassypants93 17

18- That would be shart. Shat is what they say in the UK. It is the past tense of shit.

Just_Peed 0

it's actually SHART..comes out in "Along Came Polly":)

FastLikeATree 0

'shat' is 'shit' in past tense

no, he means 'shat' , learn some grammar

ooooooooooooh 4
Crazy4Christ 0

I'm pretty sure the H was supposed to be a P

MizzErikaHart 8

no. shat is past tense for shit. fart+shit = shart.

the past tense of "shit" is "shit". shat is probably just shit with a staple or two... So, I guess he could've just said "I shat" and we would understand.

stopdonkey 0

214, the correct past tense of "shit" is "shat" but the Americans have forgotten that. Notice the OP is in Scotland.

Huh? The past tense of shit is shat.

meggieh815 0

We have established that shat is the past tense of shit. You can stop trying to be smart now. Thank you, and goodbye. :)

no, the politically correct term is shat, as in having already done other words: while doing so, I am peeing, & afterward I have peed...I am ******** out a staple, & afterward I have shat a staple. :)

hilarious, everyone is on here discussing the grammar of the word shit. made me laugh more than the FML itself :)

Taurusbaybe 8

I enjoy watching your picture evolve over time :).

haha!! Wait a sec.........I wouldn't want to be a human centipede with anyone.

jellitonoctopus 19

wouldn't want to be a human centipede with you.

you suck for not making south park episode reference

Lumenoire 0

110- I'm sorry, but you fail. And your name is just making it worse.

I wouldn't want to be part of a human centipede period..

Because it would come out as a butterfly. Duh. I'm surprised you didn't apply that yourself.