Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
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Top comments
TheBiggerBoot 7
You're an idiot. I'm sorry, but easily could have caused a wreck.
vgardner 7
Gotta play it off by picking it up anyway and gingerly setting it in the grass
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Comments (26)
species4872 20
Fair dinkum.
llama612 27
How isn't this an FML with a ydi option. I'm just getting a this could've happened to me. This was stupid of the op and could have caused an accident, YDI.
Birdie27 11
On my phone, there is YDI, and I hit it hard.
bonbon1559 20
You should've done a running kick and sent the pine cone flying, Imagine the look on the drivers face XD
Cebolamole 13
Don't be too obvious, carefully pick it up and place the pinecone on the grass, then just walk back to the cab, and hope that the driver is too stunned to realize what actually happened.
ronbach 8
Are wild hedgehogs a common thing where your from? why would one be in the road to begin with.
askullnamedbilly 33
1. Obviously yes 2. Hedgehogs have evolved a strategy that is very successful in fending off pretty much all predators: they curl up in a spiky ball of hurt and stay that way until the predator gets bored and leaves. Unfortunately, that doesn't help if you're dealing with a car. It is, however, instinctual, so hedgehogs WILL curl up in the middle of the road if they get scared even if they have enough time to run away. So in countries with a lot of hedgehogs, you'll have quite a few flattened hedgies on the streets.
Sliver1991 26
Sonic says: At least you tried. Also, don't scare drivers. That's dangerous.
Goblin182 27
It might be time for an eye exam.
latenerd 11
That must have been one big pinecone.
OhPuhleeze 23
You are lucky the cabbie let you continue. A friend of mine actually yelled and pulled my steering as she wanted to save a squirrel. Nearly caused an accident. I had to brake Hard to stop hitting a pedestrian. I was literally shaking because of anger/adrenaline and took about 5 minutes to regain composure. She didn't understand what the big deal was and why I was yelling at her. "Don't you raise your voice at me. I was trying to save a life." If it weren't late in the night and she were closer to her home I would've effing dropped her there and then. Drove the 30 minutes in silence and did not speak to her for a week. She still doesn't understand what she did wrong. SMH.
somedudesomewher 29
You were going to pick up a hedgehog? One with pikes and stuff?