Love: Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said,...

By asdfghjkl - 18/12/2010 19:14 - United States

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 305

You deserved it 3 928

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 229

You deserved it 5 757

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 097

You deserved it 3 316

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 469

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 766

You deserved it 11 471

By Samantha - 30/10/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 42 921

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 937

You deserved it 3 983

By Username - 13/08/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 651

You deserved it 5 524

By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 20:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 991

You deserved it 3 671

That escalated quickly

By marrying this man - 10/10/2023 07:30

Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 261

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 982

You deserved it 7 500

amerwin 3

Saturday 18 December 2010 23:35

Next time he's napping, put his nuts into a primed rat-trap and tell him that you want to play a game.

Koshman32 7

Saturday 18 December 2010 23:32

What a pussy

Comments

emilyanne123 0

Monday 20 December 2010 4:44

WOW o.0

dasfro 2

Monday 20 December 2010 4:46

wow looks like u got a keeper. ditch the pussy.

Abe210 0

Monday 20 December 2010 17:53

imma say YDI cause your Bf sounds like a pussy and theres no way you havnt already realized that

nlyhsa 0

Monday 20 December 2010 18:25

lmfaooo!!!

GtHottie 0

Monday 20 December 2010 19:12

That sucks....but that's funny as hell. At least now u know no scary movies with him.

dantheman1988 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 6:54

pussy

backdownbreh 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 22:05

what a little pussy . no movie at all should make a man do more then a little twitch.

SabyTheDevil 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:09

put him in a saw trap!

LoVEBiRDs1228 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 9:33

omFg daT iiz To FuNny ;P bUt aT least he wanted to pRotect U!! :D

Vaesive 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 5:01

Well you noter know what you need to. A burglar breaks in and he'll throw you to the wolves

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my husband for a divorce. He said fine, as long as I got full custody of the kids. I did an actual double take; he didn’t want shared custody, he wanted me to take the kids, no arguments or negotiating, because he doesn’t want the kids anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 513

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 034

You deserved it 42 440

The Top

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 622

You deserved it 3 822

Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 506

You deserved it 449

Today, I had an important appointment for a job. During the interview, my cellphone rang. My ringtone is "Denver, the last Dinosaur". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 31 807

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 441

You deserved it 4 049

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 112

Today, after my brother took his own life in 2020, my mother launched legal challenges to get 100% of the estate, as he'd left it to my sons as he had no kids. She was successful as the insurance company believed her lies with no proof. It took two years in court to overturn this. This ordeal has crippled me mentally and emotionally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 105