Love: Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML - FML

By timor - 18/12/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 705

You deserved it 4 839

Stop talking!

Shoulda, woulda, coulda

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 17:11 - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 595

You deserved it 2 668

By ImilkedYourMom - 03/05/2016 13:31 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel room all by myself for the last couple of days, I got naked and let the air conditioner cool me off. I then had to explain to my roommate that walked in on me that I seriously was not jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 309

You deserved it 2 061

By XxJennJennXxX - 20/01/2012 12:13 - United States

Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 825

You deserved it 2 505

By Ham - 14/06/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, I received a letter from my college telling me that my instant tuition was revoked and I’ll have to pay almost twice as much next semester. Yesterday, I received the same letter. I guess they needed to tell me twice. It hurt just as much the 2nd time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 537

You deserved it 225

By Jayman223 - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Reno

Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 678

You deserved it 1 130

FIFA 2020

By kicking with love - 06/03/2020 21:10

Today, I was standing next to the girl I like while she was looking at her phone. She dropped it and I tried to save it by catching it with my foot. I ended up kicking it across the room, cracking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 650

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 726

You deserved it 1 903

Cool

By indi1011 - 20/04/2009 12:21 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 062

You deserved it 25 467

By jimmy - 19/08/2011 21:57 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 012

You deserved it 4 511

By Laserbeaver - 29/09/2013 13:00 - United States - Milton

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 775

You deserved it 5 504

Misleading

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I'm laughing at how you think this is a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 041

You deserved it 6 495

Tricky situation

By fml9124 - 08/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 705

You deserved it 3 458

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 14:05

Today, I finally hit rock bottom when I broke down in tears because I forgot to feed my cats in Neko Atsume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 639

By anonymous - 24/02/2015 11:50 - United Kingdom - Lancaster

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 891

You deserved it 3 974

By Itstinksinhere - 19/04/2018 15:00

Today, my husband thought it was the best idea ever to clean the cat's litter box with the brand new vacuum cleaner instead of tipping it into a bin bag. My house now fills with the smell of warm cat piss every time I hoover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 553

You deserved it 383

Head, meet wall

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 20:00

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 331

Kids will be kids

By bad influence - 29/03/2021 15:30 - United States

Today, I've been getting terrible backlash from the neighbors after I forbade my kids from hanging out with one of the neighborhood kids. They think I dislike her because she’s trans. The truth is she’s rude, disrespectful, has been in several fights and had run ins with the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 65

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 05:51 - United States

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 860

You deserved it 5 355

Happy Valentine's…

By Country - 12/02/2021 14:30 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally got my stimulus check and was big excited to be able to cash it and buy Valentine's Day gifts. The very second turn out of our driveway, dude and I got T-boned. Our only vehicle, with only two payments remaining, appears totalled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 113

Long secret

By Cam - 14/01/2020 05:00 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is still scared of his ex. It's been 8 months and our relationship is still "secret." Why? Because he's scared that she will find out and tell his family about us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 410

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 729

You deserved it 5 423

By Wellpoo - 02/01/2018 19:00

Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not exactly the new year cleanse I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 174

You deserved it 305

By prostitott - 04/05/2013 07:22

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 423

You deserved it 15 346

By DaisyMay - 04/04/2011 19:47 - United States

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 297

You deserved it 5 190

By Steve - 13/09/2017 04:30

Today, I helped my girlfriend pick out a pretty dress for a corporate event. It turns out the first use it was going to see was a date with her side dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 241

You deserved it 366

By soapy - 01/10/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 021

You deserved it 8 915

For what occasion

By Single Sally - 01/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend of five years finally gave me "a ring." Oh no, not an "engagement ring." He gave me a "ring to apologize for sleeping with his married coworker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 169

By christiner - 06/09/2010 03:01 - France

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 513

You deserved it 3 253

Anxiety

By Noctium - 02/09/2020 14:08 - Australia - Bentley

Today, I realised exactly how bad my social anxiety has gotten when I had a panic attack watching someone ask someone else out on a fictional show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 262

By MotherMary - 12/10/2014 13:21 - United States - Park Hills

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 973

You deserved it 5 252

By kittynapper - 17/07/2014 23:32 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 6 860

I am what I am

By MimiFufu - 22/09/2019 16:00

Today, yet again I got delayed in airport security. One month ago, I thought it was a good idea to wear make-up when renewing my passport. It turns out I look nothing like myself without makeup. Hello shattered confidence and 5 years of needing to wear makeup for every flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 939

By Anonymous - 15/07/2016 16:14 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 694

You deserved it 3 060

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 115

You deserved it 6 849

ACAB

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop and got slammed with a ticket for expired tabs on my motorcycle. The DMV was literally across the street. I was heading there to get new tabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 646

By idiotson - 11/06/2014 00:39 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 181

You deserved it 8 938

By shit... - 05/07/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 872

You deserved it 23 755

By newkid - 13/09/2016 19:06

Today, I was so lonely, I dragged out a conversation with a lady who called to get me to make an appointment to give blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 833

You deserved it 1 327

Corkscrew

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 15:01 - United States - Carson City

Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. I couldn't get it out, after what seemed like ages of trying. I had to ask my boyfriend to help me. He'll never look at me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 166

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:55

you should still have sex with her

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:54

you'll be better off without her.

Comments

idonthaveanameok 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:51

ur a backup fyl

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:49

OP, YDI for not asking her first and FYL for dating a inconsiderate B****

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:53

fly get a new one

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Saturday 18 December 2010 23:45

another? did this happen earlier too? some attractive b**** you got there, OP!

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Sunday 19 December 2010 3:49

that's what happens when u date your sister

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Sunday 19 December 2010 7:26

Did this happen right in front of you? If so, why didn't you have a gun on you?

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Sunday 19 December 2010 16:30

Today my boyfriend was such a wimp I had to accept a proposal from a real man to get away from him...

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Monday 20 December 2010 14:19

LOL

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Friday 29 July 2011 5:43

#48, how was he supposed to know another dude was going to propose to his girlfriend? its not a contest.

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:54

you'll be better off without her.

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Sunday 19 December 2010 17:38

what does ftw stand for? it's in ur name u outta know

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Monday 20 December 2010 0:51

has many meanings, For The Win, Fu*k The World, and many more im sure.

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:55

you should still have sex with her

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:24

^ pig

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:25

agreed

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:43

grow up 35

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Saturday 18 December 2010 22:28

hahah 'like'

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 23:12

Agreed #4.

generalasskicker 12

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Sunday 19 December 2010 7:07

lol look man stole her away I will assume by wording unless she was dating 2 people in wich case you have been boninig that mans girl all along why stop now

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Sunday 19 December 2010 7:30

we live freely add my gamertag i wanna talk to you: iGennesis

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:57

Oh wow, that really sucks! If she would just say yes to another man though, she probably wasn't very committed to your relationship, in which case you're better off without her.

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:57

why did you not do it before hand? you must not have been that into her or it wasn't too serious.

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:02

Your gf is either desperate to get married to anyone who asks or she's been cheating for a while and you failed to notice. Neither implies that she is a girl worth missing. Wish him luck because HL is F'ed. Yours is about to get better.

satomi_ishida 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 22:05

Also probably means if, when married to the other guy, if he doesn't want a baby and she does, she'll go sleep with the first guy who will say he wants kids. :P Sorry, OP, but Foe is right. You'll find someone who will love you for you and will stick with you.

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Friday 28 January 2011 15:44

agrees

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Monday 14 March 2011 3:15

love ur pic^

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:03

your just a safe net if that doesn't go through I agree with number 1

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:03

there is over 6 billion of ppl on this planet.. sure enough ull find someone else soon

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:46

Amazing. Almost 7 billion.

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Sunday 19 December 2010 10:47

But I don't think op is bisexual, and will probably be only attracted to woman. Females make up 49% of the population, so 6,000,000,000/100=60,000,000X49=2,940,000,000-1=2,939,999,999 females left in the world.

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:07

At least you don't have to get her a ring, no financial lost. Hey better now then later. Good riddance to those unfaithful [email protected]@

perdix 29

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:09

Are you going to stop dating her now? She seems to have no problem with two-timing (or more) and you seem to have been clueless that she's been carrying on other relationships, so why are you going to end a good thing? Get Stevie Wonder's "Part-Time Lover," learn it and live it.

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:36

Way to go player

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Saturday 18 December 2010 21:37

Perdix, you're still the master!

frear 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 23:28

threesome

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 39

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 23

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 33

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 24