Animals: Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to...

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 316

You deserved it 7 643

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Same thing different taste

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 5 232

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 141

You deserved it 4 017

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 2 444

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 871

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 916

You deserved it 44 868

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 3 176

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 316

Seegtease 0

Monday 20 April 2009 9:47

Spider got some ACTION before it died.

FBIWarning 0

Monday 20 April 2009 9:47

At least you killed it :)

Comments

SuperAsianPie 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:11

Great you've been ****** by a spider! Sorry but you have herpes

twilighter_644 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:14

Yea, i think the shower should be coming up soon.....

sadlozer 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:18

Looks like you did have something to kill it with after all. Next time you see a bug, you know what to do champ.

applesaucers 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:24

Yay! You're pregnant! :D !

missdarcy_fml 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:33

GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!

tbweffect 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:35

"then i realised this was the most action i'd had all year"? =

Darth_Taco 14

Monday 20 April 2009 11:36

I don't know why #24 made me laugh just now. I think it's because I haven't slept :D. Wow, I'm sorry. I'm not afraid of spiders, so I don't get the full creepiness of it. I'm afraid of finding random things in my ****** though (don't ask), so I at least understand it at that level. Maybe you should see a gynecologist? I'm not sure what diseases spiders carry, but better safe than sorry. Hey, at least now you can say that your penis and/or ****** (not sure of your gender) kills small creatures. (Might not want to brag about this. Or maybe you do, I don't know you.)

bnomis 0

Monday 20 April 2009 11:50

LOL #26. Can I ask though, how big was the spider? If it was a big-ass one which could kill a bird, then FYL to the highest extent. If it was small enough to balance on a needle, then FYL for being a whiner. FYL nonetheless :) .