Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jessxoxo28 5
thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach
eduardo2k 0
roach 1 - 0 you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
susieKiute 0
that's what you get for trying to pee on the poor insect...next time use Raid, it works better
megatrontwo 0
Two possibilities: One: You copied this from the grasshopper story, so YDI for being a troll. Two: This actually happened, in which case YDI for being a sadistic prick.
citygirlnomore 0
ew u know they can fly right..?
Capdan58 0
Next time put your back into it and blast that roach to the big roach motel in the sky!
ozymandias_fml 0
YDI for being a disgusting scuzz-bag with roaches.
monster_tamer 11
Roaches jump? 0.0
Liekjj 7
This FML is the almost the same as the one with the grasshopper. The only difference is that the FML with the grasshopper wasn't copied from another FML and this one is.
blastvortex 4
Yup, it's a copycat FML, and a lame one at that. Full of crap or not though, YDI, OP.
ColdGold 6
It was funny. Very funny. ha ha ha
BigSky182 0
OK, I am new here and even I have seen this particular fml at least 3 times. Variations so far include a grasshopper, a roach, and a spider, hitting your head, hitting your head AND breaking your nose, and all 3 include pissing on oneself. OP - get some new material mkay?
manstie 1
Maybe you should get new material rather then copying Mr. Mackey's "M'kay". Hahaha