Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny...

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 916

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Same thing different taste

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 75 504

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 644

You deserved it 46 014

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 956

You deserved it 54 076

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 36 992

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 764

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 870

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 469

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 126

You deserved it 73 384

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 941

You deserved it 61 814

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 887

You deserved it 6 630

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:15

thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach

eduardo2k 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:30

roach 1 - 0 you

Comments

MrMaD_fml 2

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:34

you deserve it for having ****** roaches, nasty ass. get to cleanin the **** outta your crib and quit worrying about stupid shit. One roach=a million roaches.

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:23

All the better for training how well he can target a fairly agile young cockroach.

Piksy_stix 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:35

Who the hell tries to pee on a roach? why didn't you smash it? Wow, you're intelligent.

Mustardnight 3

Thursday 24 December 2009 8:57

Yeah smadhing a roach sounds like real rocket science...

ImOlivia 5

Thursday 29 September 2011 2:39

Smash something on a toilet? Doesn't sound like something anyone I know would do...

elparto 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:52

the good news is that you may now be able to invent the flux capacitor.

Capdan58 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:00

80's movie reference FTW!

liveitupx 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:54

Did you really expect it to just sit there and be peed on?

Kervik 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:58

Damn. Don't you just hate it when a wall appears in front of your escape route as you run from the baleful mandibles of the cataclysm-casuing cockroach? The point is, don't piss on dangerous creatures.