Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jessxoxo28 5
thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach
eduardo2k 0
roach 1 - 0 you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
MrMaD_fml 2
you deserve it for having ****** roaches, nasty ass. get to cleanin the **** outta your crib and quit worrying about stupid shit. One roach=a million roaches.
Kervik 0
All the better for training how well he can target a fairly agile young cockroach.
Piksy_stix 0
Who the hell tries to pee on a roach? why didn't you smash it? Wow, you're intelligent.
Mustardnight 3
Yeah smadhing a roach sounds like real rocket science...
ImOlivia 5
Smash something on a toilet? Doesn't sound like something anyone I know would do...
elparto 0
the good news is that you may now be able to invent the flux capacitor.
Capdan58 0
80's movie reference FTW!
liveitupx 0
Did you really expect it to just sit there and be peed on?
Kervik 0
Damn. Don't you just hate it when a wall appears in front of your escape route as you run from the baleful mandibles of the cataclysm-casuing cockroach? The point is, don't piss on dangerous creatures.
IsaacYorkHawk 0
**** roaches aren't dangerous. They're just disgusting.
sleephunters 8
Which head? lol
IsaacYorkHawk 0
Weak urine stream. Fail on your part for not doing pelvic floor muscle exercises so you can blast roaches to kingdom come like a fire hose. YDI.
IsaacYorkHawk 0
(comment deleted)
Yulia_fml 0
haha it wasn't deleted! and it was really funny :)
eoghanface 0
Awe tough break dude):
eduardo2k 0
no no no! roach 2 - 1 you but now that i think bt it we should give 3 points to the rouch for the bomb ass come back 3-1 good game