Sex, Boredom and Intimacy: Not into it

Not into it

By JD. - 08/10/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 586

You deserved it 4 085

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Same thing different taste

By spaceforrent - 16/11/2012 05:51 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 383

You deserved it 3 016

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 502

By fuuu. - 19/03/2012 12:39 - Hong Kong

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 255

You deserved it 2 579

By NotSoAnon - 13/08/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 366

You deserved it 5 058

By Llaurin - 24/01/2011 14:43 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 731

You deserved it 10 801

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 316

You deserved it 8 364

Vibe check

By Hopelesslover - 04/08/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 820

You deserved it 17 657

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 21:33 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 248

You deserved it 6 562

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 17:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 638

You deserved it 4 243

By Sickasadog - 06/02/2017 16:00 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 759

You deserved it 690

febag 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:52

cum on the ceiling, it is gonna turn white

Foster_33 4

Friday 4 June 2010 15:32

#15 you took that one too far

Comments

lahp 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:07

ewwwwwwww.... thoumy ex colour my old boxers white ;) it happens ;) give her 100 quid if she can reach the ceiling :P

bfrench95 0

Friday 16 July 2010 8:01

she's mutitasking,bitch

griffmo24 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 6:16

multitask win

eleni_fml 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:07

hahaha fail :)

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:12

Wow, painting the ceiling is more exciting than you, FYL!

Foster_33 4

Friday 4 June 2010 15:31

#3 your dumb she's gunna paint the ceiling with cum. not acually paint the ceiling white.

boydeee01 7

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:27

Before you call someone dumb, at least spell right.

Rota 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:16

Lol, "making love", she obviously has you in her pocket.

jillz 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:42

seems like you knew she wasn't really in the mood but your penis was just too important to you lol YDI

febag 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:52

cum on the ceiling, it is gonna turn white

H00K_M 8

Thursday 8 October 2009 17:45

Old joke from at least 15 years ago. Wasn't funny then, either.

MCKCWHITETIGER 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 9:36

u must be a very boring person..

benisajosher 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 17:56

This isn't an FML.

LmaoLolRofl 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 19:18

u suck

Immune2ice 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 20:15

I don't understand why this is a FML.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 162

The Top

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 127

You deserved it 1 834

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 694

You deserved it 1 751

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 335

You deserved it 3 873

Today, my parents told me that since I'm old enough to want to keep my baby, I have 30 days to find a place to live. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 1 403

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 898

You deserved it 13 391

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 547

You deserved it 5 871

Not into it

Same thing different taste

Bored

Vibe check

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