Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my boyfriend of a year is actually my cousin. Thanks, Mom. FML
Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML
Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend who'd told me he was going on a family vacation to Mexico. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, my girlfriend's homophobic cousin claimed she saw me making out with my gay friend in public. I was home alone all day, but my girlfriend is crying and unconvinced. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for a year is and always has been gay. I was apparently "an amazingly convenient beard" for his ultra-religious family. FML
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Top comments
cottoncandymango 17
Sometimes you just never know...
LolOrDeath 4
Straight arrows can break
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Comments (76)
redbandit9877 12
I didn't know Wallace Wells had a cousin, sorry OP but I wouldn't bring any future boyfriends near him.
Pstraka6 20
Better you found out sooner than later though
JoshArson 22
Hey, at least your cousin was upfront and honest about it...
oyemba 6
You should thank your cousin. he saw traits that your man wasn't straight and proved his point.
hordriss 14
Sounds like you dodged a bullet in all honesty. It's better you find out now rather than after things get really serious. The whole situation does suck though and that was a Grade A dick move by your cousin.
acs123acs 22
So you weren't worried at all what your cousin meant by steal your boyfriend?
ginawater19 13
I would have laughed in my cousins face. From what i knew about my boyfriend before the trip..
whoviefox 1
There is nothing wrong with dating someone of a different gender (or the same gender) who is bisexual or even pansexual. The way this fml was written makes it sound like that was more of the issue than the cousin stealing him away.
Silent_Thrill 17
Not really. She was just pointing out that from what she knew he was straight. You can't blame her for being surprised about that. If she had something against gay/bi/pan/or trans people I don't think she would be joking around with her gay or bi cousin about him stealing her boyfriend.
TechFire 25
I think you're jumping to conclusions and being overly sensitive.
Omniprism 14
Guys can be bi too.
vanessa09865 23
Yes! People forget that sometimes and it just makes me so mad.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Normally when one's boyfriend or girlfriend turns out to be bi I usually suggest a threesome but since he'd probably want the cousin to be involved I think I'll hold off on that one this time since I don't think Texas is that kinda state.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
How about not suggesting a threesome at all. Just because a person is Bisexual doesn't mean they only want a threesome or that its the only time they sleep with a member of the same sex. Lots of bisexual people actually want and have committed relationships with one person at a time and its not all about sex.
ginawater19 13
Someonessssssss a paranoid bisexualllll
ChakatBlackstar 29
Yes, but it's only offensive when non-bisexual people say it, so I'm safe.
Theater_Chef_3 30
No it's offensive no matter who says it
worldclassrager 39
Well hope you find a good one next..,