Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML
Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML
Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
Today, the lip balms I ordered online finally arrived in the mail. After trying one out, my lips had an allergic reaction. It's a 4-pack. FML
Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML
Monolith
Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
What's her secret?
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
Random Access Memories
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
Top comments
Tempest559 12
She must like to wear it on her teeth like my grandma does too.
daydreamer244 13
Well what flavor was it?
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Comments (150)
HighasaCloud 46
Why are you selling lipstick on eBay?
un1corns 15
A lot of people sell makeup on eBay, 13. It's really not all that odd.
Zaxnu 0
They steal it from the drugstore, then sell it online. Was on 20/20 this week.
Ninjasaurus18 9
That's what I said! Just buy your cosmetics at a store or something, not from strangers.
bunniex1 11
Yeah but eyeshadow sets can be 40 dollars at stores but 10 dollars eBay. Certain stuff is worth it.
anythingmustbe 18
Blame the Royal Mail it probably got there late flavour probably gone by then
tony1891 22
all sales are final.
flockz 20
"it's the government! they're trying to get me!"
Lil_Red777 21
This comment just doesn't make any sense.
SkoomaKi 28
^ That's what the government wants you to think!
Il_Maestro 6
No, they just wrote this comment to draw our attention away from the fact that the OP is selling those CIA knives concealed as lipstick on the Internet. And that citizens are eating them...
flashback.miss 28
lol wtf. Imagine what else she eats...
rustylane 6
What did you eat for your tongue to look like that?
aleeshttylXD 9
deoderant?
thiscrazything 1
Tar?
Feklfekl2222 32
Pen exploded in their mouth maybe?
BulldogHoops 14
I agree with 22, the level of apparent hypocrisy in this comment is shocking. I have spent about 10 seconds each time I see your profile pic wondering what the hell you ate.
bunniex1 11
I'm Guessing it's the disease that makes fur grow on your tongue. Or grape popsicle
Skittles_Rawr 8
Send her new flavored lipstick?
DjeePee 25
That's why I love checking the feedback on eBay's profiles. "I thought it was real vintage, but it's just plastic!" - said someone who bought a 76 cent ring from China, from which the seller had more than twenty pieces. "It looks so cheap" - said someone who bought a 2 dollar dress, also from China. "It took more than a month for the item to arrive" - China, again. Or my personal favorite: "It's good/fine/perfect", marked as a negative feedback.
MCRaddict15 15
Sorry OP, maybe you can send her a message and offer her something else/a refund. My sister tastes her lipstick too, but that's no reason to give you negative feedback.
twye 22
Lipstick is supposed to taste good?
perdix 31
Yes, it is. Do you want the person kissing you thinking he or she just tasted a pile of dog poo?
Googoo27 12
Perdix, yes. Problem?
disneydraeer 10
53- That is why you use lipstain and cherry chapstick instead of lipstick. Lipstick can get messy. Duh.
Bree4all 7
Welcome to the wonderful world of retail selling. People are freakin' crazy :p