Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML
Today, after spending $120 to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my mom, she called to complain that I had forgotten about her for Mother's day, but also praise my sister for apparently receiving my flowers I sent at the door and passing them off as hers. FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
s1d1ouz 2
They're just jealous
VaanBasch 1
The solution is obvious. Dump your boyfriend for not existing. The jerk...
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Comments (133)
klorehore 24
time to invite him over for a visit?
Snafuusmc 12
Hmm skype with him!
frokeyman92 9
Of course, logical advice would get thumped down. SFK
frokeyman92 9
Thumbed*
EmreArslan 11
Long distances never work :(
frokeyman92 9
Most cases this is true, but I have been in a long distance for 2 years now.
Drewbie731 0
never say never. mine never has but my brother did. all the way from Columbia.
s1d1ouz 2
Tell them he's mailing you a ***** next so you can prepare for the BIG visit ;)
perdix 31
Orchids? Either you sent them to yourself or your LDR is a gay man. A straight guy would send red roses. If you want to pull off a fraud, do some research in advance.
FYLDeep 26
I was kind of thinking the same thing. Most guys send roses simply because it's the only type of flower they actually know the name of.
EnEl_Infierno 15
She may have mentioned to him that they're her favorite, probably why he sent type of flower.
EnEl_Infierno 15
*That
Enslaved 38
I once heard the color of roses have different meanings- Red: love White: respect Pink: friendship Yellow: thank you for last night!
perdix 31
Enslaved, I hadn't heard the whole list, but I had been told you only give a girl red roses after you've had sex with her. Before that, you can give her different colors or different flowers. In Texas, it's cute to give yellow roses.
natashax21 5
Wow, you guys have really done your research...
perdix 31
Lalalady42, I know. That's why I always played it safe and presented my dates with a cucumber and two kiwis.
Minx108 12
Damn, I'm not a fan of roses.... They feel a bit cliche :/ 27 you don't need to know the names of flowers - you just need to be really good at pointing :P
ohmandapants 17
^ can't point if you're ordering them over the phone.
False_Stupidity 42
^ but you can point if ordering on the internet
Paksenarrion 24
Or the OP and her BF have discussed what her favorite flower is and it isn't roses? I personally don't go for the stereotypical roses and diamonds and my BF knows it.
florido_fml 10
Have your bf fly out and have sex on their bed!
xXshadowrollerXx 6
I imagined the boyfriend actually flying through the skies naked, gliding in through OP's bed, and directly into her ****** to initiate some overdue sex. I need therapy.
ninjuh_wingman 29
I think that its time for him to visit you in person
Cmdr_Shepard 17
If you're so concerned that your parents don't believe you, then have your bf talk to them over the phone. Come on girl, it's not that hard. Though it was very nice for him to send flowers. :)
emerluvsu 6
Anyone else having finals today? I am. It sucks.
illmatic2 16
Nobody cares.
screamo_neve 12
What the **** does this have to do with the FML?
valdancer99 0
That's amazing. Actually no it's not. News Flash: No one cares!
dcliner01 4
Your profile pic is classic
trumpet27 1
I like that "this is so stupid that I am ignoring it and let's change the subject" strategy. I should try that more often.
wittycomments 0
Apparently your love life, as your parents see it, hasn't been too glamorous. Sorry, OP