Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
gingerbreadpup08 0
Aw that stinks. But you know, canned dog food has a distinct smell. :/ You should have known it wasn't REAL meat. Better luck next time, bub.
xclegend613 0
You fat ****. your too damn lazy to make your own ******* sandwich, and the fact that your heavy chevy nutty professor self can't smell that it's ******* dog food blows my mind. The fact that your that ******* greedy is a total embarssment
Josh_Factor 0
You're lucky, I would've used mineral oil. That stuff turns your stomach within minutes and give you the worst upset stomach. A few minutes, it'll hit you instantly, and you'll be running for the nearest toilet or wastebasket... if you can make it.
Apachefire21 0
this is like obama winning the damn nobelpeaceprize. ITS ******* BULLSHIT. make your own damn sandwich you fat lazy **** . your lucky the poor bastard who you were stealing from didnt put epson salt in the sandwhich. because if it was me? i would have put dog food in it, dog shit, epson salt then pissed on the bread. you better have ate that. i hate people who steal food. faggots, all of them. including you apparently. YDI DUMBASS
ManUpFucker 0
Way to rape this one dude.
withered 30
Hahaha bon appetit! xD That's what you got for being such an asshole. Isn't it stupid to expect that the person won't do anyhing?
Yaggi 0
ugh you are such a bully. are you just a lazy fatass to make your own sandwiches?? YDI biiggg time.
mafi0 0
classic, wish he'd put dog shit in it instead.. no, his OWN shit.
derschadenfreude 5
Lovely suggestions all around. I agree OP got off easy with dog food. While laxatives are a good idea, as is rat poison, I think rat poison is too merciful, it'd be over too quickly. I, personally, would go the opposite direction with laxatives and not put anything unusual in my lunch but food, and some immodium. If OP wants my lunch so bad, he should keep it. Forever. (soup nazi voice) no poop for you!
betamaxjim92 0
Too bad he didnt put dog shit on the sandwiches