Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
swagisforchumps 9
Um... how did you learn that?
heinous966 15
Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.
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Comments (144)
tsent8 15
Ever heard what we make our burgers out of? We deserve that revenge.
coach25 5
First, how did you find this out? Secondly how does one make the bird noise while having the "O" face?
B5B0N35 18
huh same thing happend to me
fallenangel72 7
Ew that's disgusting
pradip 26
Ur dad would've felt like **********.
InUrArea 4
Ewwwwwww
Likian5 26
Bird is the word...
sissycullen 4
PenguinBitch- I cannot tell you how much i enjoyed your use of the word "dweeb". Thank you for making my day.
m4rkman573 6
I was Walking my dogs web they saw a squirrel. It wouldn't of been so bad if I wasn't holding my phone so my phone went flying, my glasses and so did I. My glasses are shattered, my phones is broken to pieces, and my face is now has 9 stitches.
sherivengeance 3
That's so odd!