Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today I discovered that I'm so pale that I can lighten up any distant dark corner of the room just by placing my hand by a window and reflecting the light like a mirror. Imagine how bright it would be if I stood by the window naked. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I have bad adult acne. This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's only on one side of my face. I look like a Batman villain. FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML
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Top comments
honeybunches88 5
Maybe you should turn your desk around and get the other side tanned up too :)
portablecupid 3
Or close the damn window? Maybe get some blinds? You can't get a tan through glass because it filters out UV light, so either the dumbass is leaving the window open or he's lying.
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Comments (47)
Ozmat 0
thanks captain obvious
ImaginaryFoe 1
Most glass does not equal all glass. Also, filtering does not equal blocking completely. I drive all summer with the windows closed and always end up with one arm darker than the other, even with sunblock on.
guppy40000 0
tanning booth might be your best bet.
catatonicsleep 17
fake tan would be healthier or tinted moisturiser
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
YDI for not wearing sunscreen in an indoor office?
SirEBC 7
Questioning the validity of the story FTW.
lordcaliburx 0
open window and jump.
playboyintown 4
wear a mask to work!
Doortje 30
And? What did the almighty coin tell you?
wiggs5 0
so you can tab through a window?.... Hm
UpsidedownKayak 9
Riddler me this, how is it that it took you to became tanned on one side of your face to figure out you have a problem. Talk to your boss to see if you can work in the dark of knight, unless you like watching Robin in trees.