Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was bored in a meeting, so I absentmindedly started flipping my phone like a fidget spinner. I lost grip, spun it towards the ground, then watched it slide across the floor directly to my manager's feet. FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
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Top comments
ArtIsResistance7 1
Boom! Headshot. IMO: Slow down. Life is easier at a relaxed pace.
kgraham21 0
I clicked YDI only because 123 people said "FYL" and 44 said "YDI" so I just had to make it go 123 45 across.
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Comments (46)
ArtIsResistance7 1
Boom! Headshot. IMO: Slow down. Life is easier at a relaxed pace.
Number1MonsterrR 0
LOLAGE WTF does OP mean?
ArtIsResistance7 1
Oh, Pendatik.
MrSassypants 34
Orange penis! so we just call the fml writer an orange penis cuz it makes us feel better that we have no lifes to do this! (OP really means Original Poater)
MrSassypants 34
Poster*
kgraham21 0
I clicked YDI only because 123 people said "FYL" and 44 said "YDI" so I just had to make it go 123 45 across.
FYL_hardd 0
How is doing that multi-tasking? :S
LMFAOwned 9
Girls. Huh. Lol
iSitt 0
rule#4:double tap
Crlnprz 11
shit happens
956TXking 0
this fml is stupid
xMaNNiNGx119 0
YDI for not having glasses
MarkSeattle 0
LOL. Only a girl would consider messing with her hair, glasses, and blinking "multi-tasking" at work.
Lythiaren 8
OP here. Well no, its not multitaksing because they're not four different tasks (though I was also making stuff at the time), i just thought the wording was funny. Figures, I forget to log in and the story goes through :P
TaylorTotsYumm 10
OP = orgasmic pandas
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
13: I definitely would've done the same. :D
Thunderbender 2
POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER... yeh someone had to say it.
QuPii 0
wow what kind of dumb ass spaz ***** that up. I bet you can't walk and chew gum the same time too.
Ouroboros_fml 0
Dear OP, Please, please tell me you don't drive.
TerraDiablo 0
lol I have tht shirt!!!
Pleasure_Pirate 0
That's hardly multitasking. Well, maybe it is for you. A valuable skill in your job at Burger King.
kgraham21 0
Hey! I work at Burger King! I'm only 16 but that's not the point.
Lythiaren 8
As I mentioned above, it's only worded that way for humour. The actual multitasking was pretty mundane so it isn't really relevant to the story. Church's Chicken, actually. You're close. Just doing this shit to pay for college so I can get an actual job that doesn't involve self-entitled morons. :P
JBmm 0
ydi for multitasking :P
its_tuesday 6
ok..so how did she diserve this? she's clumsy. and how do we know it wasn't her manager's fault for standing inconveniently in the way? standing near clumsy people is dangerous.
Lythiaren 8
It was mutual, he walked into me at the same time. But yes, I am extremely clumsy.
LexBvl 4
if only those eyes of yours were in a decent face.
your_face 15
So... with your hand adjusting your glasses around your eyes (unless you've been wearing them very wrongly - maybe that's why you didn't see your manager?) and sweeping your hair AWAY from your face, how exactly did it manage to punch you in the mouth? Side of the head I could believe; maybe even your nose. But your mouth?
Lythiaren 8
It was just my bangs, they just require a flick to get them out of my face while my finger gets back to getting my glasses in front of my eyes. since I adjust my glasses while holding one side of the frame instead of the part the goes back behind my ear, my hand was directly in front of my face. Walking into my manager resulted in the half-fist going right into my teeth. :V
Isamermaid 17
You call THAT multitasking? What are you, retarded?
transcedental 18
woah x_X i was going to say the exact same thing :D
lonerftl 3
That is not multitasking apparently you don't know the meaning of multitasking.
anorexicbarbie 8
19 Holy shit you look like that guy from the AT&T commercial where he meets that chick on the train and their kid becomes the president n' junk! And you look like the guy from the StateFarm commercial too! Omg!
AtCliffsEndFan 0
OP should try playing drums
lonerftl 3
@25 uhhh thanks?
Tauren 0
Are you really this boring?
Tamu_Chan 0
Oh NO! You're life is terrible.. this isn't an FML...
Lythiaren 8
Posted for laughs, sir. Everyone at work got a laugh out of it, I just thought I'd share.
AmoraLynn 6
Oh my goodness people, this was obviously posted to give the readers a good chuckle. OP good for you for being able to laugh at yourself.