Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML
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Top comments
ForestFire0 1
Maybe if he talked like a regular person instead of like a vampire
Telcontar14 0
he actually said mortal enemy? Dude, don't sweat it, if he's talking like that he's just begging for such comments.
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Comments (107)
ForestFire0 1
Maybe if he talked like a regular person instead of like a vampire
BBGood_fml 0
yea ik
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
I think you have the wrong FML, this one is about the skin cancer and the sun.
humorizer 14
I thought vampires only sparkle in the sun? I'm looking at you number 11. Haha.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Woah. I think someone hacked my account. I did NOT write that. New account time. /: that's freaky O_o
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meeeep 0
did your read the FML before posting that comment "ladykitty"?
calikola 0
Hahaha #1 has the best comment. Also, it's more like F his life, not yours.
Zomlette 0
26: She asked him if he was a vampire in a joking tone. Reading comprehension. (Okay, that was kind of bitchy, sorry.)
fmlchanel 0
Hahhaha wrong fmll kidd.
peaceloveswim94 0
thank you for saying this. i agree 100% percent.
carrie84 0
ouch! next time say have a wonderful day
Finnboghi 0
Indeed, plenty of people hate the sun for various reasons.
VolcanoTheDragon 20
Especially here in england. Its amazing on the first few days of summer, but after the first week or so we practically start to melt. England weather sucks.
Lindsay46789 0
I hate to say it, but I laughed.
Richieq212 0
benchwarmers anyone?
wingedvictorian 0
yess
ClaireBear9087 0
awesomeee movie
Telcontar14 0
he actually said mortal enemy? Dude, don't sweat it, if he's talking like that he's just begging for such comments.
redbluegreen 41
I was thinking just that. I mean... skin cancer isn't going to come to mind when someone says 'mortal enemy'. I'm just happy nobody's made a Twilight joke yet or saying something like, "What? Vampires only sparkle in the sun. FYL for not knowing that."
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
Too late. Twilight is an abomination of the vampire myth. Vampires in the sun? Pfftt.
divineinstrument 2
#5 speaks the truth. He clearly wanted some vampire slur coming his way. "The sun is my mortal enemy" could have been the words of Dracular himself.
Alanna_Vicious 0
Thank You!
zrhcrx 0
Wow, that guy was pretty rude...
rixbury 0
That sucks for that dude, but he shouldn't be a d-bag to you and make you feel bad fore being nice. Keep on being friendly and know that there will be those sad, hurt people out there that are just generally mean and negative.
ImAKlutz15 0
Instead of joking you should've asked why...
JiggstheMan 0
and does he eat five bottles of sunscreen a day?
treli1593 0
lmao i forgot what movie that's from, but that part's hilarious. And FYL how were you supposed to know? He shouldn't have said it so weird
shnibz101 0
F his life
jnewport 0
I agree. It has nothing to do with your life. F his life.