Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend spend all day pouting that I wouldn't watch 'Wednesday' with her, despite my giving the pilot a chance and hating it. Yet when I choose a show, I usually get five seconds before, "What is this? I don't like it! Turn it off." FML
Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML
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Top comments
someteenager 13
Ask her why she does it
Amburito 0
Next time just take the remote from her.
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Comments (123)
UsagiArwen 23
My advice is that the next time she does this to you, stay in the room with her. If you really can't stand it, bring a book with you and read or something, but don't let her win. Do this every time. Eventually she will realize there is no point in it. If she really does like those things and it doesn't stop, you gotta confront her. But for now, try calling her bluff.
eatsleepjb 8
Next time she changes it tell her that you want to improve your relationship by sharing her interests, then what will she do?
upyourzlolz 11
I love those! I watch mainly to see when Justim Bieber and Selena Gomez break up. Then I will give Selena, "Free Candy".
upyourzlolz 11
*Justin Shit. Fast fingers. Now I have to write my will. Grammar Hitler will not accept two mistakes in one day.
laden_swallow09 35
Heil, Spellcheck!
every1luvsboners 11
She's been doing it for years and you're just now catching on? The dishwasher repair man comes over twice a week at midnight to 'unclog' the pipes too.
Nutty4Muffs 3
Here's a cookie, Gurgle.
iBluePancake 4
Gurgle **** or gtfo . Your too innocent for this shit
NikkiFlysKites 8
I love how not a single one of you spelled Gurggle's name right, lol.
benderbot19 0
But Gurggle is starting a "people I hate" list. This could get fun.
benderbot19 0
I'm so proud of you. *tears*
Airman1988 9
buy a big ass flat screen and a lazy-boy for the other room and 1-up her ass
deviable 9
Maybe you should talk to her about it? Maybe she just wants some privacy.
Pentium_4 27
change it to South Park. she'd probably leave the room lol. awesome show though
flockz 20
she sounds like she's very competitive. she just wants to figure who did the murdering first. i suggest having a competition to see who can cum first in bed. she'll **** you senseless.
GetHardOrGoHome 7
Your pic is great!!
every1luvsboners 11
No, your pic is great. I love Rosie O' Donnell. How did you manage to get such a great picture of her?
ThecomingofTan 9
I use that same tactic with my dad, OP. It is the only way to get him to leave the room so I can watch my paraplegic ****.
samarch0079 0
Holy shit dude that was f$&@en funny!!!!!!!
GetHardOrGoHome 7
Maybe she doesn't like the way you smell
bobbycorwen 5
The way he smells when they watch television? His scent changes when the television is on?