Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend spend all day pouting that I wouldn't watch 'Wednesday' with her, despite my giving the pilot a chance and hating it. Yet when I choose a show, I usually get five seconds before, "What is this? I don't like it! Turn it off." FML
Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML
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Top comments
someteenager 13
Ask her why she does it
Amburito 0
Next time just take the remote from her.
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Comments (123)
derfMcCallen 5
Two words: Man Cave. You get to do what you want and she gets to do what she wants.
KiddNYC1O 22
I hate them too. No life shows. Except TMZ, because they actually make legit humor out of the stories.
EnterSandman_fml 20
She probably just doesn't want you to know that she has horrific gas and farts endlessly for a period of time. It's ok, just try to get her to play turtle. You both go under the covers and fart until one has to exit for air. Hang in there so she has to give in first. You may suffocate to death, but she'll know you're not afraid of her gas and can watch the show together.
rednecktrucker 9
Get that remote back and have her make you a sandwich! Damn you must have no nuts.
hateevryone 15
that's messed up. there's no other tv in the house?
cocokiss410 0
Ha ha ha
majorasshole 4
Grow a pair of balls and stand your ground, pussy.
lowshadows 21
Or get your own personal home theater with a "no wives allowed sign".
Budruwilson 0
Shes doing you a favor, crime dramas suck.
Fylminesawsome 5
Fill up on broccoli and beans 2 hours before your show is on, then when she keeps flipping the channel, let out a disgusting stink bomb of a fart when she changes it from your show.