Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Just before he tries to get smoochy, pop 10 mints in your mouth. Then as you engage contact spit them all in his mouth.
perdix 31
Get a job at the local wastewater treatment plant so you can be around the smell of raw sewage all day. You'll get accustomed to it and your boyfriend's mouth will just taste like work. Or get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (195)
pfx2_fml 15
Was this before or after he ate you out
yamatelle 19
...the second time
pfx2_fml 15
Was this before or after he ate you out
yamatelle 19
...nor the third time.
Ugi 27
#1 is totally right - you have to say something. He might be a little put out to start, but if you make it clear that it's coming between you and his affection then he's likely to be pleased to fix it. Get him to see a dental hygienist, brush his teeth regularly and maybe use a mouthwash and you'll both be a lot happier.
Buttsexpirate 9
Hey halitosis!
indistructo 3
that seems goobly!
EvilPotato 15
Isn't OP's boyfriend an affectionate one?
hotPinklipstick 24
If you know for a fact that he brushes his teeth and uses mouthwash regularly, then he should speak to his dentist about this problem. There is actually a disease that causes bad breath no matter how many times you brush your teeth and or use mouthwash. Maybe you should sit him down and explain this is a problem for you and you would like him to seek help for the sake of future sexual contact. He may be upset about it at first but I assure you if he is a normal human being he will be more than happy to fix the problem.
Enslaved 38
Time for a Denist appointment. He may have cavities. I've heard those cause bad breath. Until then..... Binaca Binaca Binaca!!! And for christ sakes, woman! Speak up and tell him his breath smells bad!
pdp_fml 21
I agree that he should see his dentist. Also brushing his tongue and flossing might help. The only other thing that might help is that he might have problems with his stomach that could cause his breath to stink.
EwanSmith 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
poor you, having someone that obviously adores you so much. just tell him instead of mocking him you c**t
THE_A_TEEN 28
would you want to be in a relationship with someone whose breath smells like shit you judgemental c**t?
anongrl 2
I agree with 23. She should stop complaining about it to other people and tell him. I'm sure it would make him feel like shit if he knew she posted this instead of telling him. It might not be his lack of hygiene that's the problem, it could be something he can't control without dental care or medical care.
ice723 5
hand him a tooth brush and some tooth paste and next time he tries kissing you tell him not before. he cleansed