Intimacy: Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle;...

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 276

You deserved it 5 769

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Same thing different taste

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 258

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 718

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 2 724

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 948

You deserved it 6 889

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 823

You deserved it 3 906

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 611

You deserved it 4 398

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 6 950

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 22:26 - Russian Federation - Korol

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 462

You deserved it 22 518

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 588

You deserved it 8 886

gntfmlingnow 12

Tuesday 29 May 2012 2:04

Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.

omfg_creepers 8

Tuesday 29 May 2012 2:05

Nerdgasm?

Comments

sajupt 17

Tuesday 29 May 2012 13:33

Random boner? U shud prolly make gud use of it n become a sperm donor!!!

strack94 6

Tuesday 29 May 2012 15:01

Mario!

cashfast98 0

Tuesday 29 May 2012 17:35

WTF?!?!?!

anettes 7

Tuesday 29 May 2012 22:37

hahah oh god,.

ducky570773 14

Tuesday 29 May 2012 23:11

Or, the room mate plays video games at night and when op hears the music, he knows it's safe to whack it because the room mate is distracted.

curtyman11 9

Tuesday 29 May 2012 23:29

Your penis is dublin in size

kamigawa120 7

Tuesday 29 May 2012 23:44

Lol wow. Are you going to place the controller next to ur pelvis?

tatayannmermen 3

Wednesday 30 May 2012 0:43

RBS??

ma12r 22

Wednesday 30 May 2012 1:05

Assassin's Creed? I know how ya feel buddy.

toughbananas974 6

Wednesday 30 May 2012 4:32

Flex any major muscle group for about 30 seconds, and that boner will go away, guaranteed. For example, if sitting, flex your legs as if you're about to stand up and hold it. Works like a charm.