Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML
Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML
Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML
Today, I got tipped more than I have in my bank account. It was $5. FML
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him, "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied, "Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML
Today, I'm a waitress. A customer came in and acted very kindly and even mentioned how I was such a help to her. She also mentioned leaving a nice tip. The tip? A fake $20. Thanks. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML
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Top comments
teague95 16
Parking. You're doing it wrong.
wallandpiece 16
Maybe you should think about where you park next time.
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Comments (104)
StanSmith_fml 9
Hey, it's the circle of life.
Alwayspullout 7
Learn how/where to park, and you wouldn't be involved in that particular circle...
domking1315 20
Now i wanna watch lion king
Futacy 29
she probably saw it before you did and tried to pay for some of it
PrimeEvilTahir 24
U know this always happens to me! Whenever I'm really happy for something - god will strike me down with something bad and put me back in my place... :-( I guess im just one of those ppl who are destined to be never too happy... OP is probably part of this unhappy club...
MizzKilljoy69 11
I just pictured a sun rising in the scene, with "WAAABAGENDENIAWOWAHEEYA" playing in the background
Drigr 9
I'm not sure that is a Stan Smith quote, if it is, it certainly isn't memorable, which is why character based FML accounts fail.
jerryk 2
51 - maybe he just wanted to comment and really likes the show?
Jaoriprilj 17
Hmm... that might work.
nado13579 12
9- I ALWAYS wanna watch Lion King! Oh I just can't wait to be kiiiiinng!!!!! :D
Eamon666 3
I read that in Stan's voice
wallandpiece 16
Maybe you should think about where you park next time.
p3mguin 7
Agreed, don't park some where If you don't know he rules
MizzErikaHart 8
Wow that's bad luck op, especially considering you probably only parked there for 5 minutes.
bluekid7 5
The old lady was psychic!!
teague95 16
Parking. You're doing it wrong.
Cashtangoteam 10
It must have been a ninja meter maid if you're delivering a pizza and get a ticket
kotabones 0
At least you weren't so dumb you parked in the disabled handicap spots. That's 250
Kamon97 23
Lol don't even pay it it's not even your car
borkchop1992 15
The world is a dick
itssosparkly 21
That sounds like the opening line to the worst metaphor-based poem ever.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Really? Considering the shape, I would have thought the world was part of a set of balls.
KiddNYC1O 20
"Eat a dick, stingray."
HUGHGRECTION69_fml 2
Correction: The world is a vampire.
teague95 16
Your deduction skills are astounding!
itsalanis 25
Makes me wonder where he parked. I love mysteries! c:
buck33 14
Ok detective, reread the first sentence of the FML.
Amethyst888 14
Here let me help you solve this mystery. He probably just parked somewhere he shouldn't have, hence the parking ticket. There Mystery Solved. Your welcome :)
FMLshark 12
His welcome what, 32?
petloverlcd 7
It was most likely that he parked in a handicap parking spot because he delivered food to an elderly lady who might be living at an old folks home. But, I guess we'll never know for sure.
missabbey 3
Well I don't really think u deserve it but I would check where I'm parking next time. But sorry op tht sux
anoellem 1
Net time You deliver pizza take the pony express instead of your car... Unless you can get tickets on a horse too... Then you're just screwed
memob123 0
Yea net time..maybe
anoellem 1
Next*
hockeyoceancity 13
She missed one letter no need to be so annonying about one letter... You still knew what she meant. You are an imposter i will not respect your authority.
TarieBoo 2
41- you're just saying that because she's pretty...
hockeyoceancity 13
She is pretty but doesn't change the fact that i've did something similar to this two other times and they were both guys and i'm not bisexual or homosexual so... Just no need to correct someone when all that happened is they missed one letter.
anoellem 1
Lol it's really not a big deal guys but thank you. It was just a harmless joke. This site is way too serious haha.
TayonaC 10
Explains why he got such a large tip...
seanpalladino 2
It would be 2/3. :P
domking1315 20
Mush?