Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML
Today, my period was officially 2 weeks late. I have a phobia about giving birth, so I had a panic attack, went to Walmart, spend $15 on four pregnancy tests and a drink, came home, and took the tests. All four came back negative. As I went to clean up and throw everything away, I got my period. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML
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Top comments
washingtongirl 8
It's time to break that dry spell, friend. Get freaky.
andiiturtle 0
At least your not pregnant ! :)
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Comments (209)
tj4234 36
why are you on the pill if you aren't having sex? Wouldn't the implant do the same thing (medical wise) for all the other reasons people use the pill?
Eiregal2 10
I will always be amazed at people's mad need to have as much sex as they can in this day and age. Don't get me wrong, if you enjoy it then good for you! I just hate how many teenagers are pressured into it today. I myself have now been celibate for 9 years, it's a personal choice and the reaction I get when I tell people shocks me, it's like I said I just murdered a puppy!
savagee133 13
True. this generation which i am a part of is so ****** up.
TopoX84 7
Back to virginity?
savagee133 13
wow I haven't even gone that long and my gf doesn't even live in the same state as me
clumsychik 1
Ah, lesbians.
sillyjonjon 4
What does op mean
Dracoboxer357 36
You must be very new. Well, before you get told it means Over-sized Penis or something else equally charming, allow me to clarify: it stands for Original Poster. You're welcome.
sunflower226 0
you don't need to worry about getting pregnant - you probably aren't fertile, anyway. evolution does not typically favor people with such a low IQ reproducing.
ssnowywinter 0
Evolution is essentially a random force. It does not pick and choose who reproduces and who does not, it has little to do with intelligence or anything else. It has to do with those who are most suited to have the most offspring. Please, read more about a topic before you go off and insult someone.
sunflower226 0
yes...most suited to produce offspring. survival of the fittest. by darwin's standards, someone who is a total moron is not "fit" to produce offspring and therefore will likely not be able to reproduce their genes. like, an antelope who grazes nonchalantly in front of lions, or one who is not bright enough to take care of their young. I was making a joke about that. do you see the joke now, or do you need a Darwin award, too?
geassconan 1
Wtf?
Cinny90 7
Omfg. That's just...wrong. On so many levels.
writergirl23 19
Why is your period so late? Go do the doctor!
KRiddle 15
Well...