Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML
Today, my period was officially 2 weeks late. I have a phobia about giving birth, so I had a panic attack, went to Walmart, spend $15 on four pregnancy tests and a drink, came home, and took the tests. All four came back negative. As I went to clean up and throw everything away, I got my period. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML
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Top comments
washingtongirl 8
It's time to break that dry spell, friend. Get freaky.
andiiturtle 0
At least your not pregnant ! :)
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Comments (209)
alycion 39
Actually when I was on it for endometriosis if I missed one my cycle would be screwed up for months. Not the most common thing but it can happen.
Pinkfl0yd 9
But it's been a whole year!
Pinkfl0yd 9
At least we're sure she isn't a succubus.
groupleader 7
It's not mine :)
sadistmonkey 19
You haven't had sex in almost a year.........that you know of. Dun dun DUN
cjzolo2 5
Forever Alone
go_Banannas0814 0
Thank god you aren't pregnant because the baby would probably be stupid just like its mother.
Mopmob02 18
Well looks like you dogded a bullet there op. The only time not getting laid is a good thing.
MsMaddi123 0
U can still get pregnant without having sex
MsMaddi123 0
But it's great ur not pregnant
MaydayParadexx 18
Lol no you can't... The only other way would be artificial insemination, and I'm assuming she'd be off the pill and expecting pregnancy if that was the case. You, ma'am, need to go back to sex ed class.
joshbchillin 4
Is this person serious?
thewife5 19
Thanks for the update. There are plenty of reasons to take birth control.