Weird projection, but OK

By just realized - 16/09/2020 23:03 - United States

Today, I realized that when someone's pregnant or introduces me to their kids, they're saying, "I had sex with this person" and now I can’t stop visualizing it. Keep me out of your personal life, Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 1 386

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Same thing different taste

Condom advertisement

By Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 151

Dude, step up your game

By happycow122 - 20/06/2015 20:54 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 116

You deserved it 20 435

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 768

You deserved it 14 437

By Acu7519 - 16/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 212

You deserved it 852

Breaking news

By I Know How to Pick'em - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Beaverton

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 871

You deserved it 2 692

Policy of truth

By Lelsy - 08/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend’s family. His mother gave me expensive diamond earrings and treated us to brunch. I don’t know how I’m gonna have the heart to tell him that I’ve accidentally gotten pregnant from someone else I’ve been seeing. I can’t tell him it’s his because we haven’t slept together yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 2 017

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 771

You deserved it 3 664

It's a no from me, dawg

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, the guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of months and started falling for told me his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his child. I’m so bummed because kids and baby mamas are my number one deal-breaker. I really liked him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 184

Better late than never

By why now?! - 12/08/2022 02:00

Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 05/04/2019 18:00

Today, I realised how little my husband trusts me after I told him I was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, “Is it mine?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 432

ojoRojo 27

Thursday 17 September 2020 7:38

Are you 12?

Tiffani Carter 6

Thursday 17 September 2020 5:09

Um, no. Telling you they’re pregnant doesn’t tell you who they slept with...

Comments

Tiffani Carter 6

Thursday 17 September 2020 5:09

Um, no. Telling you they’re pregnant doesn’t tell you who they slept with...

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 17 September 2020 5:18

But you're probably just imagining Tom having boring missionary sex for procreation. Think of Tom getting pegged by his wife, then tossing her salad, teabagging her, giving her anal and then a facial. Give him some credit.

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 17 September 2020 8:19

Actually Tom gets 0 points, because none of those sex acts would actually get his wife pregnant.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 17 September 2020 8:25

Sex is more than just for procreation. I want the OP have lots of dirty images of Tom for his obsession with him.

Iamthebanzai22 21

Thursday 17 September 2020 14:58

You forgot partner swopping, fisting and bondage.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 17 September 2020 17:54

I didn't. I just thought I gave the OP the right number of disturbing images about Tom. I could have gone into blumpkins, felching, Cleveland streamers, Alabama Hot Pockets, etc.