Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed... - FML

By Anonymous - 8/4/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

93976

You deserved it

243384

Tweet

Share

Ungrateful

The past that suits you best

Spooky

By Dgama - 17/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I went to see my new boyfriend play in a band. I found out that groupies don't like even bass players having girlfriends. I was attacked by one because he smiled at me from the stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2527

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By cdaniel2 - 12/2/2009 17:15 - United States

Truth bomb

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50062

You deserved it

4604

Tweet

Share

By donezo - 26/6/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45298

You deserved it

3715

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/11/2014 00:43 - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32841

You deserved it

10820

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/5/2016 14:56 - France - Brunoy

Today, I accidentally left my bedroom light on all day. When I got home, my mum screamed at me for wasting electricity. This is the same woman who leaves the TV on all day while she’s at work, all so our dogs have something to watch and won't be “bored”. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14816

You deserved it

1367

Tweet

Share

By longing for emancipation - 30/4/2016 03:09 - United States - Mitchell

Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14639

You deserved it

1302

Tweet

Share

By WTF - 27/9/2015 07:57 - Poland - Wroclaw

Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25557

You deserved it

1533

Tweet

Share

By dancer4life - 9/1/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped... right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21995

You deserved it

6092

Tweet

Share

By i hit a cyclist - 27/5/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55967

You deserved it

25559

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 11/3/2010 19:55 - United States

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26664

You deserved it

2084

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/8/2020 08:08

Forever alone

Today, being a lonely exchange student, I slept with a guy from my dorm who I don’t genuinely like, just to show myself a good time. His equipment, fully deployed, was not even the size of my thumb and the entire business lasted less than 20 seconds. I was lonely enough to let him back in again. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

802

You deserved it

1881

Tweet

Share

By Sam - 18/1/2010 17:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33273

You deserved it

2988

Tweet

Share

By SydIsPrettyCool - 4/8/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50025

You deserved it

3378

Tweet

Share

By paywithpoop - 22/6/2014 15:10 - United States

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49911

You deserved it

3855

Tweet

Share

By CandyMachine - 16/2/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29737

You deserved it

9797

Tweet

Share

By killjoyx - 23/7/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23720

You deserved it

3141

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/1/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31973

You deserved it

6041

Tweet

Share

By apenglishstudent - 31/3/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15142

You deserved it

70675

Tweet

Share

By nick - 18/5/2012 07:22 - United States

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32936

You deserved it

2602

Tweet

Share

By pissed_off_girl - 1/4/2013 02:59 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37536

You deserved it

3219

Tweet

Share

By almost - 22/8/2017 16:00

Today, I waited 75 minutes for a roller coaster. I got on the front seat and it broke a few seconds before it started. It was closed for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4142

You deserved it

314

Tweet

Share

By Username - 29/5/2019 12:15

Today, my brother announced his engagement. I'm going to be the Maid of Honor. My ex, who told me after five years of dating that he didn't believe in marriage, is going to be the Best Man. I get to walk down the aisle with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1864

You deserved it

139

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/6/2011 16:35 - United States

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47205

You deserved it

6027

Tweet

Share

By julieb - 23/5/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47611

You deserved it

6470

Tweet

Share

By Mervin22 - 29/1/2011 04:10 - Australia

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38205

You deserved it

4414

Tweet

Share

By Aliya - 1/3/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54144

You deserved it

6898

Tweet

Share

By wowimdumb - 30/1/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13422

You deserved it

69941

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29113

You deserved it

3560

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 31/8/2010 05:21 - United States

Yikes!

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42052

You deserved it

7201

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/3/2013 02:47 - United States - Louisville

Today, a man I once worked with passed away. He was a lovely, caring, and inspirational person whom I looked up to. My husband's form of consolation? "Old people die. Get over it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35794

You deserved it

4027

Tweet

Share

By scared - 17/3/2015 21:35 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30555

You deserved it

4296

Tweet

Share

By freckle82 - 12/5/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58375

You deserved it

4497

Tweet

Share

By starving_freelancer_forever - 18/9/2017 16:00

Today, I found out the works council won't let the company offer me the job for which I was the only applicant because the council requires 3 years experience with the company. I've only been here for 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3735

You deserved it

206

Tweet

Share

By Bryan - 30/9/2020 17:01 - United States

You had to ask

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

478

You deserved it

1289

Tweet

Share

By jessi - 2/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41012

You deserved it

6589

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/1/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2029

You deserved it

354

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13066

You deserved it

28684

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 06:50 - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25251

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By Oh Cock - 10/10/2015 15:15 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25017

You deserved it

7864

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 12/3/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

150093

Phew, glad it wasn't me

22870

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Druu | 53

#7422604 - Thursday 9 March 2017 21:20

You monster.

By ArbiterOfFML | 24

#7479949 - Wednesday 5 July 2017 0:49

how could you not determine a cat from a squirrel?

COMMENTS

By Druu | 53

#7422604 - Thursday 9 March 2017 21:20

You monster.

Reply

DemCherries | 4

#7430891 - Wednesday 29 March 2017 2:57

monster

By DemCherries | 4

#7430893 - Wednesday 29 March 2017 2:58

monster

By KeenBird | 2

#7437522 - Wednesday 12 April 2017 15:47

Wasn't it so hard to fucking stop when you saw an animal on the road, you dick, shouldn't be driving

By ArbiterOfFML | 24

#7479949 - Wednesday 5 July 2017 0:49

how could you not determine a cat from a squirrel?

By Fluffster97 | 15

#7563972 - Tuesday 14 November 2017 18:06

Someone hit my cat also. You are a horrible person.

By dontworryyo | 4

#7570420 - Friday 1 December 2017 4:20

Poor kitten

By Eshaan7 | 7

#7788422 - Monday 1 April 2019 13:26

Dwight, is that you?