Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago. Turns out she hasn’t found love again since I broke it off with her for her best friend. She’s not the bubbly, cheery girl I met before. I can’t help but feel like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really? She hit you with a mace? Where does one buy a big spiked iron ball on a stick these days? I could really use one.
Ambient25 25
You should put her number on Craigslist
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Comments (143)
Jharrist89 12
Damn!! Get her back next time!
djxerxes9000 18
...and you're still the mature one.
btracy619 23
The mature one wouldn't do anything. If your break-up was bad enough that she would just mace you like that, clearly it isn't wise to try to talk to her, maturity is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
8313girl 28
The smartest thing I've seen anyone post. I wouldn't want to run into any of my exes and for good reason. I wouldn't mace them but I pray that I never see any of them again in life.
Raesin 21
You kinda deserve it OP, trying to make small talk with Exes is almost always a bad idea. Especially if it was a bad breakup or you find out the other is a psycho. If you didn't know she was psycho before, you do now so in a way you still dodged a bullet... try dodging the mace next time.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
While I agree that talking to exes is bad, OP didn't deserve to be assaulted.
finch01 18
nope havent forgiving yet
ballpython 15
That is assault plain and simple. I saw this happen to a guy in real life. A guy was ARGUING with his GF and it never got physical, not even close to it. She maced him out of anger and was soon after arrested.
Jirekianu2 19
Good.
flfsu84 3
You should've given her the old ovary punch!!
FaygoAndMiracles 18
While you absolutely didn't deserve to be maced, I still don't think it was a good idea to go up and talk to her. People generally become exes because they don't want to have each other in their lives anymore.
HumanWiki 8
I'd file assault charges against her.
SunAndMoon427 12
Geez she's an idiot. I try to actively ignore my exes but if I saw one, I'd at least be an adult and say hi if they said something to me first. You dodged a bullet with this one. No rational person maces someone for talking to them