Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago. Turns out she hasn’t found love again since I broke it off with her for her best friend. She’s not the bubbly, cheery girl I met before. I can’t help but feel like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really? She hit you with a mace? Where does one buy a big spiked iron ball on a stick these days? I could really use one.
Ambient25 25
You should put her number on Craigslist
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Comments (143)
Likian5 26
I can see why she's your ex...
MDTeddy 13
I see why she is an ex. Don't ever speak to her again?
miss_sqwert 19
I have a feeling from her reaction it was you that broke up with her and you didn't in a mean way. Wish we had mace in nz I'd love to mace my ex if he ever deared to come near me
BradTheBrony 19
READ AN ENGLISH TEXTBOOK BEFORE I CLAW MY ******* EYES OUT. THIS IS PAINFUL TO READ.
Ceejay1 13
Karma will get her back for being an evil idiot .
jelly713 19
I find it pretty sad it took over 50 comments to finally see someone bring this up. Hopefully OP did report her for it because that's a bitch move on her part, & it's assault. Pepper spray is for safety purposes only. When someone uses it they have to run away & report it or you can get charged for assault. No body deserves to be maced at whim, this is definitely not a YDI if OP was being civil.
Chelseam2 4
I think macing someone for no reason is illegal.
Quiet_one 22
It is, and he has every right to press charges. That said, I wonder why her extreme anger is a surprise to OP. Breaking up tends to create a lot of hard feelings. This doesn't in any way excuse physical assault (obviously the ex-gf is more wrong than the OP here), but anger is a fairly standard reaction to rejection, and even if she wasn't crazy chances are she still wouldn't want to talk to him.
siddin 6
file assault charges.
Jirekianu2 19
I find it amusing how many people are making excuses for the ex committing assault. "He did something to deserve it!" How about people realize this is sexist bullshit. Would you accept the reverse sotuation? He sees her, she says hi, and he maces her? Mace/pepper spray is not just a little burn. Most people who have it happen describe it like spraying something hotter than habanero juice into your eyes. It's insanely painful and can cause permanent damage if too much is used. This is assault, plain and simple, and I'm disappointed so many people find it amusing because a woman is doing it to a man. We have no idea what their history is. What if she's abusive? What if she has paychological issues. The guy in a relationship doesn't "deserve it" for simply having a penis.
BradTheBrony 19
Thank you, for Christ's sake, some COMMON SENSE. And the worst part is, their motto seems to be, "Never assume anything but the worst if it's a man, but say that you aren't assuming anything to make yourself seem smart." Moral: It's possible to be sexist to men, and racist to caucasians while we're still on the subject. Stop assuming it isn't.
hatemyluck 15
But why would OP talk to her if she was abusive?
monpetitchevelle 4
This may not be a situation of maturity.It all really depends on how it ended and whom ended it
ligerzero459 24
Looks like it's time for some assault charges