Who says OP lives with him?

don't forget to carry a glowstick, dress in bright colors, have an "adult" unwrap your candy and never knock on a door when the lights are off! ;-)

Halloween is so dangerous! What if there is a guy dressed as a pedophile, when he actually is a pedophile. It happened to me like six times before I realized it was the same guy each year.

Watch for razor blades!

23 as odd as that may seem I had the same thought but then I looked at the gender thing.

I'm more curious about the dangers of Christmas. Seeing as how he has a lecture for every holiday.

…..... okkk

LMAO x)

Wow. Talk about a fucked up life. You sure got one, OP.

oh God, i can only imagine what your fathers speech is like on valentines day :O

Oh the possibilities! Chanukah: Menorah+Latkes=grease fire How about MLK day? Groundhog day? Labor day?

"Don't you chew the hard candy, it can be very bad for your teeth"

The car labeled "kandy" prob has a pedo in it. But the one that says "Hogwarts Express" is real; the guy even game a chocolate bar with mushrooms in it (he said it was healthy) and I got to fly with buckbeak

Agreed with 2, dad story's and lectures are the best in my opinion.

Hey, I like trick or treaters. Uhmm, I mean, yeah, good advice.

Or the van parked outside...

But those creepy vans with 'free candy' written on them have the best candy.

Oh my van is loaded with candy. :)

Mine is loaded with children. I'll trade you kicky!

I heard all 'vampires' were secretly vampires!

I heard that the new vampires born of pop culture are gay, and not at all in the spirit of true vampires or their original inspiration.

I respect 61 >.>

comment twice? MADNESS!!

I know... I'm crazy like that

challenge accepted.

challenge accepted.

U and number 2 have a lot in common

The definite truth.

ya that shit was hard to clean off.