Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML
Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Time to hit up the Chloroform....
Bunnehs 0
YDI for thinking that being drunk makes you cool.
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Comments (81)
stevenmx86 8
Nobody thinks you're "cool" because you're drunk texting. Also, drunk doesn't equal social dip shit... Grow up you're obviously like 13...
5t3ff1k4h 47
People my age (21) still believe it's "cool" to be drunk. A lot of people drink in a social setting which is fine, but no one understands that it's not cool or attractive to be sloppy drunk.
dude443 4
You could have just pretended to not know who u were with cuz u were drunk you know ...
leadman1989 16
Asshat. Insulting you dumb posters is becoming hard... Sometimes I get drunk with no alcohol seriously.
metalhawj 0
Fake and gay. U said you were home alone and with your friends
kiakia0131 23
FYL because you were alone with nothing better to do than to lie about your partying. However, YDI for pretending to be drunk. You don't need to drink to have a good time anyway.
RachelD23 0
If you put half as much time into actually having a life as you do trying to make people think you have a life, you probably would have one......
peacelovepink26 0
just say that you were too drunk to know she wasnt with you! :)
AmberCanFlyy 4
Hahaha. This is probably one of the best FMLs I've read in forever.
sweetsourangel 1
ROTFLMFAO...loved it...
denvan 0
Just go out and have a social life it's not that hard