And your hand shouldn't look so much like an ashtray. This one is on you.

Use his hand as a coaster for next morning's hot coffee.

This is where you slap him just hard enough and say, "your face should not have been there".

Go to HR, that's bullshit.

Oooooooh! You're smokin' now!

Where the hell do you live that people can smoke at a lunch table?!

Such co-ordination, he's lucky he wasn't about to have sex cause he would have end up in the shit.

Thats assault

No idea how he was able to even speak after that. I would of knocked him out the moment he did what he did. You need to grow a spine.