Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML
Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Time to hit up the Chloroform....
Bunnehs 0
YDI for thinking that being drunk makes you cool.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
simsima_fml 3
hahahahaha, yeah you deffo ****** up.
imcharp 5
Smooth move
DocBastard 40
Wow a poster who looks like a total douchenozzle after attempting to look cool by doing something stupid! We haven't seen that before... ...in the past 10 minutes.
stompic 2
why did you do this ? YDI for being stupid. Get a life, dude !
perdix 31
The worst part is pretending to be drunk. It's very cheap and easy to do -- very stupid and broke people do it all the time. Being social is trickier, Zoloft and Paxil can be expensive.
akayc32 0
Depends on your insurance plan..
Cheesecakee 11
Yeah you suck for doing that...
Ashley868 10
I can't judge too much, I did it once after a break up a few years ago. We hung out in the same social group, so I just picked an old friend he didn't hang out with. However it doesn't seem like a good idea to pick a friend they hang out with, even if he/she wasn't there. What if they asked him/her about it later?
Ashley868 10
Oh I know, I feel embarrassed knowing that I even did it a few years ago. I doubt any of them or my ex even remember, which is good. I'm just saying if you are actually going to sink to that level, it doesn't make sense to pick someone everyone knows. I've gotten real drunk texts from friends, and I always laugh about it with them later, or I'll bring it up to the friend saying something like "Yeah it sounds like you and so and so had a good time the other night... I had some interesting texts."
iampetard 0
You have the Hit the all time low ??? ???? ????? ???????? ???? ?? ???????????
gymnstemily92 0
How embarrassing (:
tucansam555 3
I'm sorry but people like u make me mad. Stop complaining and go do something! U only got one life u should do something worth while :)