PJ.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Chicago, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Madison43097
United States 🌶️ Spicy
The Three Bears Conundrum
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Dickhead
Lebanon 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Anonymous
Shailer Park, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
To do what?
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
Faluna
Sweden 🌶️ Spicy
Ewwwwww
Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Jake
Athens, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML
Sal
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
anonymous
Noblesville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
peridot1aa
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Top comments
moronslayer 0
if you're rich enough for a house keeper you're rich enough for a prostitute
CallMeHush 1
Why are you trying to impress the housekeeper? She isn't going to give you any play. What did you do with the rest of it? Swallow?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
PICS of the housekeeper or he/she/it does not exist.
pooter_stink 0
To #5, just curious, what else can you do with a condom?
girlygirl666 0
THIS^
teacher411 0
This is just sad. Why do care if your housekeeper knows if you're getting any or not? She was probably just grossed out having to pick that up.
MetalCraze 11
Why the hell would anyone care what a housekeeper thinks? They clean strangers toilets for a living. You are a ******* loser go kill yourself
Fminetoo 0
Yup, my ex girlfriend thought i was cheating on her when she found a three pack of condoms in my room. two were still in the box in the wrapper, one was on my rifle. She didnt believe me until i showed her. With a couple of tight rubberbands, it works equally well at keeping water out of the barrel too.
Fminetoo 0
What the heck happend to the post above 32, and why am i under 23? Somethings getting weired here.
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
really ? Like what was you expectinq ? If I was your housekeeper and had to clean and I found tht I wud be disgusted ..... sorry but you needa stop complainen and go do sumthinq
Mauskau 36
yeah, you should take your own advice and learn how to type and spell like a normal human being.
cmccarthy05 0
like really? what was you expecting? when you type a comment like 50 cent on a website like this one, you will get attacked for your grammar. go out and buy a 30 dollar grammar book for ALL of us, so all of us, you including, dont have to deal with your stupid ass comments.
crzyry 6
@35: While your grammar is better, I think you might want to invest in a word tense book and maybe a capitalization book before you talk trash on anyone else. Jmho
cmccarthy05 0
capitalization on a ipod touch is overrated. hitting the little button on the side after every period? if i was on a computer id have much better capitalization. trust me.
crzyry 6
Ah, I had an Ipod touch it use to drive me crazy. I can relate.
cmccarthy05 0
I mean, i love the ipod, its just its so annoying to type on. As to your comment on word tense, i believe you were referring to the line "like really? what was you expecting?". That was a quote of the original persons comment, in an attempt to make them realize how stupid they sounded. If you arent commenting on that, maybe i do need to buy a word tense book(:
crzyry 6
I knew that, I meant when you said "you including" instead of "you included" or "including you". My guess is you were texting too fast but it's no where near as bas as Mauskaus errors. lol
cmccarthy05 0
I knew when i reread it it didn't sound 100% correct. lol. I agree.
pachy78 0
OMG people... he is just trying to show how pathetic is is life! give him the credits!
brittany1013 0
if I had a housekeeper I wouldn't feel bad about not having sex. be happy /:
XFlyingxPiranhaX 0
15- Balloons, veggie protection, cat slippers...
AlaskaRaven 0
what veggies are you protecting? cucumbers? carrots? bananas? I vote for cukes. bigger. but carrots are harder... hmmmm.
namhowell 6
I'm a little tired of FMLs that complain about trying to make others think you have a life/love life. if you're not gonna do something about it then it means you're still ok with bow things are, so stop complaining. If you're not ok with it, then do something about it, and write some FMLs where most people can agree with. And a housekeeper, really? it's not like he or she will ever judge you or give you a hard time about anything.
EricJ 3
She shouldn't have to touch a wrapper from your condoms. If you ever have to clean up after someone else, will you want to touch a condom wrapper at that time?