Intimacy: Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 16:32 - United States

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 37 135

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Same thing different taste

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 51 001

Bad sign

By Filing for divorce - 27/11/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 88

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 3 094

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 406

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 016

You deserved it 91 932

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 657

You deserved it 2 749

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 689

You deserved it 10 788

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 6 021

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 936

D_R_A_M_A 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:34

Wow, I think my mom works with you...

brinky09 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:14

Oh you're a smart one, aren't you? YDI for not noticing the button jammed in your back.

Comments

untoldfame 3

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:10

sorry, this isnt an FML. this is an MLIA.

youaresofucked 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 19:53

this isnt an FML - this is HOT

bobmandude 0

Sunday 16 May 2010 5:51

Brilliant. Also were there cameras inside said office perhaps? Giggity giggity

soul_fml 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 4:21

Wonder what the cowerkers were thinking

brinky09 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:14

Oh you're a smart one, aren't you? YDI for not noticing the button jammed in your back.

kevick93 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:09

I call fake

JetLiFanFTW 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 1:47

what's ydi

omgiitsme03 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 5:20

yeah I think this fml is a fake

VenomxD 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 5:59

YDI for bein a nasty bitch that's just gross Dx

luke1998 0

Friday 4 March 2011 7:30

you dumb idiot

KRYPTON1T3 5

Friday 11 March 2011 6:20

or you deserved it.

D_R_A_M_A 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:34

Wow, I think my mom works with you...

powerslave117 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 6:30

that's hot...

OutlawISaBEAST 0

Friday 12 August 2011 1:52

It's a small world after all!

arnold38 1

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:37

nice celebration!

plum_lovin 28

Thursday 27 June 2013 8:58

This is an FML and a YDI.. you should be happy that you can always find a new job but not always have a happy marriage with a husband that brings you flowers on your anniversary.

Crunchy08 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:46

Sounds like the makings of a new office scandal. Fun stuff.

uchihasasuke 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:10

wowww slutttty

blackrose01 6

Sunday 7 August 2011 6:32

Yes cuz having sex with your husband is slutty.

wrigglezeus 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:26

it's not really slutty if it's her husband. it would be slutty if she cheated I believe it's an fml

jack185868 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:45

that's hilarious.

doggie3 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:47

It's definstley not slutty if it was her husband. But, yes, FML.

clayton18 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 8:19

Agreed its not sluty. It is a little kinky. but thats always fun! People need to opene their minds a little more to sex. Next time get on the floor or in the chair or something.