Intimacy: Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how...

By Sam - 27/02/2011 21:42 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 819

You deserved it 4 308

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 672

You deserved it 4 391

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 582

You deserved it 4 974

By Anonymous - 11/02/2013 20:58 - United States - Raynham

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 028

You deserved it 3 843

By Miserableperson - 18/03/2017 18:00

Today, I found out that we're supposed to get 3 feet of snow, and the person who plows our driveway is out of town. We're stranded on a huge hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 921

You deserved it 886

By Grounded - 03/11/2011 09:18 - United States

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 945

You deserved it 3 349

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 095

You deserved it 551

By Anonymous - 25/12/2017 15:00

Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 527

You deserved it 379

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 356

You deserved it 3 798

Get it on

By WentInABush - 15/11/2012 07:23 - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 3 244

By gr8terevil - 02/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 984

You deserved it 16 918

FeedMonkeyking 4

Monday 28 February 2011 0:53

Headphones never occures to you?

krushr 3

Monday 28 February 2011 0:56

Steal their lube.

Comments

annihil8or 15

Monday 28 February 2011 5:17

GIT R DONE!

katiefisjer 1

Monday 28 February 2011 5:33

hahahahahaha at least someone will be having a good night.

sweetniven 0

Monday 28 February 2011 5:42

I love anal! and yes I'm a girl ;)

disconinja924 5

Tuesday 1 March 2011 2:34

*purrrrrrr* xD hahahaa

attatood 8

Monday 28 February 2011 5:49

"Mr. Hankey, there's someone knocking on your door!" - Cartman.

dez63 9

Monday 28 February 2011 6:09

I think I'd take the risk and go outside

camerican21 1

Monday 28 February 2011 6:11

Go dad!

Capt_Oblivious 10

Monday 28 February 2011 6:36

As others have suggested, headphones and music. Besides, it isn't going to be as much of a pain in the ass for you as it will be for your mother.

btor417 0

Monday 28 February 2011 6:44

so can u film

coman 0

Monday 28 February 2011 6:46

lmaoo that's a new one

jaybirdrampage 0

Monday 28 February 2011 7:23

sounds like she will be getting 2 in the snapper , 1 in the crapper

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 744

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 204

You deserved it 7 094

The Top

Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 520

You deserved it 8 495

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 056

You deserved it 4 070

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 582

You deserved it 13 674

Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It was intended to be ten nights of relaxation and romance. The first five nights she had her period, and the next five nights I had painful welts on my tip from the mess in my swim shorts. Ten days later, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 091

You deserved it 460

Today, the kids in my 6 year-old daughter’s class were asked what they feared the most. My daughter’s worst fear is apparently not werewolves, sharks, monsters or clowns. Nope, it’s "Eating food I don’t like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 206

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 90

Same thing different taste

Nooooooo!

Get it on

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