Uncomfortably Numb

By UnComfortablyNumb - 05/04/2018 04:00 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, I bought variety condoms. I chose one called "Endurance" thinking it would be extra strong, put it on him, and gave it a suck. I realised my mistake when my lips and mouth went numb. It has benzocaine on to delay him. I still can't feel my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 263
You deserved it 3 953
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Top comments

Dr_Alex 10

Not to add insult to injury... but you also managed to put it on backwards... Benzocaine is supposed to make the penis numb, not the ******, so it's usually put on the inside of a condom.

114 1
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Don't you suck before you put the condom on?

72 5

Comments

Dr_Alex 10

Not to add insult to injury... but you also managed to put it on backwards... Benzocaine is supposed to make the penis numb, not the ******, so it's usually put on the inside of a condom.

114 1
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Don't you suck before you put the condom on?

72 5
zuckerburg 21

and get his herpes? STD's stay STD's no matter which hole it goes into hey...

11 2
Rabite 28

Didn't you and all the people who upvoted this ever go to a sex ed class?

6 1
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

No. Wtf do I need a sex ed class for lol

0 0
sohigh10 34

The risk of oral transmission of STD's with no visible symptoms is negligible. Good on OP for practising safe sex no matter what, but the risk is not comparable to unprotected penetrative intercourse.

1 0
Donut_Wizard 23

Next, try the one that adds +10. Charisma, and then the one labeled Berserk.

12 1
julfunky 29

Meh, I’d rather take a +10 Agility condom over Charisma condom.

7 1
RichardPencil 30

He doesn’t care if you can’t feel your mouth. All the more reason to keep sucking away!

10 2
zuckerburg 21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
8 28
Sinshine 28

How about it's both people's responsibility? You have some issue of you have penitence with a woman buying condoms to have a good time with her partner.

16 1
Tarlachia 33

Do they have a numbing condom for your bitching?

15 2
javiigar987 3

its called whiskey

0 0
DanielleinDC 33

And maybe they take turns buying the condoms, and it was her turn to buy. Or maybe she decided to spice things up by buying variety condoms.

4 0
jkjorn 16

Now I understand what that song "I can't feel my face when I'm with you" REALLY means.

13 1
Lobby_Bee 17

Might not get head, but got some peace and quiet for a little bit.

4 3
Mungolikecandy 19

I gather he tends to usually be out of the gate faster than a greyhound in order to require "Endurance"?

0 1
AXel2169 23

SHE bought condoms, and didn't know the "endurance" ones were numbing condoms. So, no.

1 0
Gubbon 17

She thought endurance means extra strong.

0 0
DanielleinDC 33

Did you read the label to see how it would enable a guy to endure? And aren't there condoms specifically for oral sex?

0 0