Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SwaggCapone 11
That's nasty! *Cleveland voice*
engineerosaurus 26
Extra protein?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
imonkeyface 9
If you noticed it was a different color afterward then why did you keep using it?
bsc23 8
I don't understand how this could happen.. It cut itself and died? In the bottle or in the shower? How did it get in or on top of the bottle? I use pump shampoos and I don't see this happening!
Steel_X79 1
How do you not notice a dead mouse in your shampoo bottle in the first place?
Rawr6591 21
how does that even happen
queerchristian 5
Protein is good for hair
daboar 5
i dont understand how that is even possible
JoshuahColins 19
Oh man! As I'm about to hop in the shower!
Goblin182 27
But how is the shine and body?
Andriaia 13
Unless the mouse somehow managed to crawl inside the shampoo bottle after or while cutting itself, you wouldn't have been washing your hair with mouse blood...
pikachulove14 14
that mouse was had a bad day
tinyrosie 21
English mofo, do you speak it?
pikachulove14 14
yep but my autocorrect doesn't.