Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
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Top comments
SwaggCapone 11
That's nasty! *Cleveland voice*
engineerosaurus 26
Extra protein?
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Comments (163)
Cami111 2
Oh shit
Meechiepie 13
that is the most metal thing I've ever read.
dramaelf 37
Is your name Elizabeth Bathory?
suri23 11
How does this even happen?
Bevspeaks 11
At least your hair is squeaky clean.
Greenmarsh 31
I see what you did there! :D
Ki11erC 18
The mouse must be tiny to get inside the bottle? :o most pumps I know are not even pea size. And if it was at the factory it didn't cut itself it drowned an decomposed in the shampoo, how's that for a nice thought ;)
randm_dude 9
Most beauty farms charge you extra for the protein cure of your hair. Show some respect that poor mouse sacrificed its life for you to have pretty hair. RIP unknown mouse. Soldier in the war against split ends.
Stephano186 8
*plays taps*
mete_orito 34
It is strange that the mouse cut himself against the shampoo bottle. I would think the mouse was poisoned before, and it happened to die there. Rat poison has a substance that impairs coagulation so they die by hemorrhage.
cookie1207 19
If you get better looking hair, youve got a winner formula!
yourwifelovesme 25
Rats, that sucks