Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML
Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML
Today, I went out in public for the first time in four months since I was mugged and stabbed. Today, I also found out the guy who did it was out on bail. I discovered this walking across the road from the shopping centre where it happened, and he was crossing the road towards me, smiling the whole time. FML
Today, I hopped into what I thought was my friend’s car, sat down, and started chatting away about the trip to Vegas we were about to hit the road for. After a few moments of awkward silence, I looked up to see a terrified stranger staring at me. I was very close to getting maced. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
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Top comments
alex47625 22
Well he will never return
DEATHLORD_fml 16
Oh man!??. Buy him a gun!He'll feel safe!
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Comments (64)
alex47625 22
Well he will never return
pleasedie 22
Anybody else thought this was going to be in Texas
Grayness_ 26
I actually thought Houston lol
Anony2014 10
My mind went straight to New Jersey, actually...
xyris_fml 28
Detroit was my first thought. Maybe because I've been there.
SnowxSakura 17
I thought of Memphis, where it's quite common for that to happen.
beararm 11
Yu guys forgot chicago
finalyearsofhate 22
My initial assumption was LA. Strong gun laws, lousy follow-through.
ThatHorse 15
My initial assumption was Alabama.
beeferjay 34
in AZ, it's open carry, conceal carry all day. anything goes but we're (mostly) not stupid about it
iAlissa 34
#15, with all due respect, no one in their right mind would say Detroit rarely has shootings haha
amanda182 19
Omg let's not talk about Chicago. I'm in the airport in Chicago right now waiting for my next flight ):
slutfactory 17
#48, Are you actually aware of the city of Detroit, or-
deathshead 19
honestly my thoughts went straight to NYC but maybe thats just me... now to actually check the location.
thebestofboth 20
I've lived in Houston my entire life and have never seen a shooting in person.
DEATHLORD_fml 16
Oh man!??. Buy him a gun!He'll feel safe!
tj4234 36
Pretty sure having more guns on the street is not the solution to gun crime...
MrDonSalvetti 27
#14 Pretty sure you didn't recognize the sarcasm in this one...
the_real_dvd 21
Pretty sure every study shows that the less restrictive it is for law abiding people to own guns, the lower the crime rates. That's something the gun control fanatics won't tell you.
RedPillSucks 33
pretty sure that studies have shown that those guns are more likely to get stolen or used to shoot a family member or acquaintance. your argument also doesn't explain why countries with stricter gun laws have less gun violence than the US
AHzulu 25
Hold on let me blow some fake statistics out my ass
Ichiya 29
If law abiding citizens lose guns we might have less accidents, but I doubt the criminals misusing guns will follow the gun laws. If they did we wouldn't have this issue to begin with. Besides violent people will find other weapons to use in their crimes.
NotCharlieRost 15
Guns are fine. What's not fine are giant full auto rifles that people can go buy easily. There is absolutely NO reason for those to be legal, other than its "fun to shoot" and unfortunately it may be fun to shoot but shooting it can hurt people
Geekman2 10
38, you are correct, but remember that families that own cars are exponentially more likely to be involved in car accidents, that statistic is incidental. As for "other countries", Japan, Australia, and Britain, are three off the top of my head with total bans on guns and zero gun crime. But all those have at least one essential factor in common, they're islands, meaning there is a physically limited number of points of entry into the country. And, here's another couple statistics for you, Japan has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, Australia passed their gun control laws over a decade ago, their homicide rate has not dropped appreciably (people just use other stuff), Britain has contemplated mandating shatterproof pints in order to curb "pint glass violence" The fact of the matter is, all the statistics quoted above, by me and others, are correct, but none of them tell the whole story
TheBelt 19
Well time to pack his bags now, I think he's had enough.
SiriusOrionBlack 20
last year, an exchange student at my college from Northern Ireland went to San Francisco over winter break...and got shot in the arm.
MisterKnowItAll 15
typical America.
igive 29
Typical Non-American.
bandaidstations 28
Yeah, I've never seen someone get shot in my life so I wouldn't say that is "typical" I have heard of plenty of shootings in other countries too. Bad generalization.
gosh_mate 30
As someone who has travelled to America, it's actually so scary to witness anything like this (when you're from a country with strict gun laws). I hadn't even seen a gun up close until I was in America and I'm 20 y/o. But then again, there are risks with every choice a person makes, including getting in a car.
KaidensCrow 18
I live in America... and while it's not an everyday occurrence...... well.... you won't witness it everyday... but yes I suppose at least one person gets shot every day in the USA... I guess I'm not being very helpful lol... you just have to go to the right places... avoid the high crime cities and you should be good.
mthomasmillerr 3
Lol that's a actually hilarious.
Wer3Wolf3 16
I guess all needs is a shot in the arm.
AyeTee77 18
'MURICA
MrSassypants 34
That must suck. I live in America but thankfully I never see that. The only time I have seen anyone get shot is when my brothers and I went to go get our vaccination shots.